1. My name is Lana Carol McCrary
2. Lana means "light in the darkness"
3. My mom likes me the best because her middle name is Carol too.
4. My mom's first name is Debby
5. My dad's name is Marcus.
6. I'm the middle child.
7. My sister's name is Myra
8. My brother's name is Alex
9. I have a brother-in-law named Patrick
10. I have a niece named Morgandy
11. I have been to Mexico.
12. I have been to Brazil.
13. I have been to Uganda.
14. I have blond hair.
15. I have blue eyes.
16. I am 5'8" tall(no matter what Kelly says)
17. I was born in Arlington, Tx.
18. I have lived in Crestwood, Ky.
19. I lived in Humble, Tx.
20. I've lived in Oklahoma City, OK.
21. I live in Missoula, Montana.
22. I enjoy Montana, but I miss the South.
23. I went to Oklahoma Christian University.
24. I also went to Kingwood Community College.
25. I also went to University of Central Oklahoma.
26. I also went to University of Montana.
27. The last 4 sentences make me laugh and cry.
28. My major is in Applied Heath Science.
29. I wish that someone would just hand me my degree.
30. I played soccer.
31. I am a black belt in Taekwondo.
32. I wish I was back in Taekwondo.
33. I was in Student Senate at OC.
34. I was also in Gamma Rho, a social service club at OC.
35. I miss being in club, I loved it.
36. I have never had just one best friend.
37. I have never enjoyed being in cliques.
38. I have many friends from many walks of life.
39. I'm a push over.
40. I love to travel.
41. I want to go to India.
42. I love anatomy.
43. I love reading.
44. I rarely don't make my bed.
45. I wish I would cook more.
46. I live with a great family.
47. Families are very important to me.
48. My first job was at Dominoe's Pizza.
49. My job now is at a Chiopractor's office as a receptionist.
50. My favorite job was as a Barista.
51. I need to eat better.
52. I miss having desert with my friends Kim, Lily, and Tamika.
53. I love Sunday nights with the Girls.
54. I love the outdoors.
55. I have a scar on my hand from falling on a furnace.
56. I've had surgery on my foot.
57. I use to wear braces.
58. My front two teeth are mostly fake.
59. I wish my family lived closer to me.
60. I have two very cute red heads in my life.
61. I love to clean.
62. I like people.
63. I like to be by myself too.
64. I love singing in church.
65. I can't sing well at all.
66. I have been on a Cruise.
67. I wish I was a better listener.
68. I love to laugh.
69. I love to be the center of attention.
70. I really do like to pray.
71. I love back rubs.
72. I like to have my hair played with.
73. I secretly love wearing skirts.
74. I miss the big city.
75. I love the mountains.
76. My favorite book in the Bible is 1John.
77. My favorite person in the Bible is Paul.
78. Mint Chocolate Chip icecream makes me smile.
79. I love peanut butter.
80. I miss good Mexican food.
81. I don't watch t.v.
82. I like going to the movies with Nathan.
83. I like Christian music.
84. I miss Grandma.
85. I miss my Papa.
86. I miss Adam.
87. One of my favorite people is Grando.
88. I love the West Wing.
89. I love to have spiritual conversations.
90. I'm excited to go to heaven and have talks with Jesus.
91. I'm glad that I went to the same college as my sis and my cousins.
92. I'm glad I lived with my Aunt and Uncle.
93. I have a hard time being still.
94. I've struggled with depression.
95. I truely believe I will never go down that road again.
96. I have been blessed in so many ways.
97. I'm doing this list for my sister.
98. I've always looked up to my sister.
99. My brother is the funniest person I know.
100. Whew, I'm happy to be done!

The past 2 months and 9 days have been rough. I've struggled to find happiness in many things. Although this is unlike me, it has made things in my life very real. For the first time in my 26 years of life I am realizing that these feelings are ok to have. I don't always have to be the life of the party(even though I truly enjoy it). I've learned to be sad even when others around me get uncomfortable.
Spiritually speaking I feel like I have been stretched, sometimes beyond what I think I can handle. And I'm not quite sure what God wants me to learn sometimes.
Spencer and Emily Bogle are missionaries in Jinja and life long friends. I recently read a post that Spencer put on the Jinja blog and it helped me figure out some things.
Spence talked about missing Adam being around and not just for his famous stories, but for the times just sitting at the table with him. Although Adam and I have been apart for many years, I know that when it comes time to visit my family I will feel that void too. I'll miss playing cards with him. I'll really miss playing games outside. Going to the Langfords was always fun. We almost always ended up playing a game that was usually just made up, all you needed was a ball of any kind and a great imagination.
Spence also used a quote from Christ plays in Ten Thousand Places, by Eugene Peterson. It reads, "The story in which God does His saving work arises among a people whose primary experience of God is his absence"
I know that God is here in the midst of all the heartache. Suffering has been a big part of my life recently, but God is still in my face keeping me going even when its a lot harder.
I guess I'll have to keep my chin up for now, and keep on trusting that God is here working in me.

Stuck in a Rut

In about a month I am turning 27. This seems like the longest year of my life. I have had more troubles this year then I think anyone should be aloud in one decade. But thats ok. Cause I have pushed through most things and I've also grown more this year then I have in about a decade.
But I'm stuck right now. I think I'm writing this here because this seems like something to process. I recently told my mom that I feel like I have been handed a package deal of crap. Normally, I can get out of a negative mood. I can always turn something bad into something postive. Even encouraging when it can be a challenge has never been a struggle for me. However, right now I'm in a rut that I can't seem to get out of. It seems that nothing and nobody can make this change lately.
I guess that is where I'm not getting any relief from crap city. I'm relying to much on situations and people. Geez! Thats totally not going to get me out at all! I need to rely on God more than anything or anyone else. This seems so easy to say but so hard to do. I'm not sure exactly why because He has never let me down or never left me even when I've left Him.
Well that felt better. I know I'm so smart I should be a brain surgeon.

Da DaDa Da...

I have a new cousin! Noah Adam was born last Wednsday in OKC. He was 9lbs and 3oz. Mom and baby are doing well. He's much need joy at this time in our lives.
Me and my dear friends, Jen and Jess will be traveling to Portland, OR in a few weeks to see this new addition. I am so ready for this time. Not only does it mean a road trip, but I will also get to see my family! It been really hard being so far away from them. This will be so great to share stories of Adam. They day we come back, The Ben Langfords along with my Aunt and Uncle will be going back to Jinja, Uganda. Please pray for this, I know that it will be really emotional. Going back to the last place Adam was will be hard.