In about a month I am turning 27. This seems like the longest year of my life. I have had more troubles this year then I think anyone should be aloud in one decade. But thats ok. Cause I have pushed through most things and I've also grown more this year then I have in about a decade.
But I'm stuck right now. I think I'm writing this here because this seems like something to process. I recently told my mom that I feel like I have been handed a package deal of crap. Normally, I can get out of a negative mood. I can always turn something bad into something postive. Even encouraging when it can be a challenge has never been a struggle for me. However, right now I'm in a rut that I can't seem to get out of. It seems that nothing and nobody can make this change lately.
I guess that is where I'm not getting any relief from crap city. I'm relying to much on situations and people. Geez! Thats totally not going to get me out at all! I need to rely on God more than anything or anyone else. This seems so easy to say but so hard to do. I'm not sure exactly why because He has never let me down or never left me even when I've left Him.
Well that felt better. I know I'm so smart I should be a brain surgeon.
3 comments:
Lana
I know you are down. I have a prescription for you. Take at least one hour a day for yourself. On Monday, grieve (read the bible, pray, cry, scream, or whatever). On Tuesday work out (run, bike, or swim). On Wednesday grieve again and repeat thru Saturday. On Sunday take a break and rest from your hour of solace. Give the day to God. Do it again the next week. Your body needs those endorfine highs from working out and your soul needs to grieve and meditate over all of the things in your life. Give yourself at least an hour a day. I love you. Dad
I agree with dad. You do so much for others and that is wonderful and part of what makes you so awesome but it's okay and good and healthy to have some "Lana" time.
Thanks for sharing your heart. It's refreshing even if its crap ;).
Love you!
myra
The following song comes to mind...
"You are my strenght when I am weak,
You are the treasure that I seek, You are my all in all...
Seeking you as my precious jewel,
Lord, to give up ,I'd be a fool,
You are my all in all...
I love prayer songs, and I know HE is seeing you through.
Isn't it silly that I sit here as your Mom and wish I could do more. It has always been God, not me, that has lifted you out of the ruts.
Post a Comment