I am in Portland Oregon today. This weekend has been a great time with my family. We have sat around laughing and crying while remembering my cousin Adam who just a short time ago died. Its still so surreal. I'm not even sure if I totally believe that I won't see him again here on earth. His presence is greatly missed here.
Today at church we had a time of blessing and remembering Adam. My cousin Ben had some great thoughts during communion that I'll share.
While we were on our way to find Adam's body, we stopped in a town about an hour from Jinja. This is were we learned that Moses was dead and his body was on the way back to Jinja. Irene, Moses wife was in the car with us along with her nephew and another women. When Irene found out that her husband was dead she weeped. This was something that I had never experienced. Ben, Kym, Spencer and I sat in the car and cried with her. We held her hand and cried. And we had communion together. We had a "common union."
When we arrived at the hospital where Adam's body was, we were taken back to see him. He was in the morgue which was behind the hospital. When we finally got to Adam he was laying on a table. We cried over him, together. Again, we had communion with him. A "common union."
The next day Kym and I stayed in Mbale to get started on plans for going home. Ben and Spence went to get Adam's body. Ben said that while they were waiting to bring Adam back a Kenyan man approached Ben. He said that he had heard about the accident and was so sorry. As tears rolled down this man's face Ben looked around to see that many were around him. Ben started to talk to these other people who before seemed to be there just because it was the big news of this small village. Ben quickly realized that most of these people had lost a brother, uncle, cousin, or loved one. They shared in a common union. There in the place where Adam died they had communion together.
We came back to the states and the week before the funeral the Langford's house was full of people. The house was full of laughter and tears. People communing together.
Then this weekend, here in Portland again we find ourselves with a common union. We are all here, friends and family, to remember the life of someone who meant so much. Adam showed me that serving is something that you just do. You don't need to make plans or talk about it, you just do it every chance you get.
Today as a family, that is what we did. We served the congregation during communion. I have never done this. It was so great as a family to serve those at East County Church of Christ. We are all grieving over Adam. We are sad and feel a great loss.
Communion was different today. Today, I shared with others in a common union, the void that is in our life. I served others who were hit hard by Adam's death. I am so thankful for this time that I have had here this weekend. I am thankful for communion.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Thursday, March 29, 2007
1. My name is Lana Carol McCrary
2. Lana means "light in the darkness"
3. My mom likes me the best because her middle name is Carol too.
4. My mom's first name is Debby
5. My dad's name is Marcus.
6. I'm the middle child.
7. My sister's name is Myra
8. My brother's name is Alex
9. I have a brother-in-law named Patrick
10. I have a niece named Morgandy
11. I have been to Mexico.
12. I have been to Brazil.
13. I have been to Uganda.
14. I have blond hair.
15. I have blue eyes.
16. I am 5'8" tall(no matter what Kelly says)
17. I was born in Arlington, Tx.
18. I have lived in Crestwood, Ky.
19. I lived in Humble, Tx.
20. I've lived in Oklahoma City, OK.
21. I live in Missoula, Montana.
22. I enjoy Montana, but I miss the South.
23. I went to Oklahoma Christian University.
24. I also went to Kingwood Community College.
25. I also went to University of Central Oklahoma.
26. I also went to University of Montana.
27. The last 4 sentences make me laugh and cry.
28. My major is in Applied Heath Science.
29. I wish that someone would just hand me my degree.
30. I played soccer.
31. I am a black belt in Taekwondo.
32. I wish I was back in Taekwondo.
33. I was in Student Senate at OC.
34. I was also in Gamma Rho, a social service club at OC.
35. I miss being in club, I loved it.
36. I have never had just one best friend.
37. I have never enjoyed being in cliques.
38. I have many friends from many walks of life.
39. I'm a push over.
40. I love to travel.
41. I want to go to India.
42. I love anatomy.
43. I love reading.
44. I rarely don't make my bed.
45. I wish I would cook more.
46. I live with a great family.
47. Families are very important to me.
48. My first job was at Dominoe's Pizza.
49. My job now is at a Chiopractor's office as a receptionist.
50. My favorite job was as a Barista.
51. I need to eat better.
52. I miss having desert with my friends Kim, Lily, and Tamika.
53. I love Sunday nights with the Girls.
54. I love the outdoors.
55. I have a scar on my hand from falling on a furnace.
56. I've had surgery on my foot.
57. I use to wear braces.
58. My front two teeth are mostly fake.
59. I wish my family lived closer to me.
60. I have two very cute red heads in my life.
61. I love to clean.
62. I like people.
63. I like to be by myself too.
64. I love singing in church.
65. I can't sing well at all.
66. I have been on a Cruise.
67. I wish I was a better listener.
68. I love to laugh.
69. I love to be the center of attention.
70. I really do like to pray.
71. I love back rubs.
72. I like to have my hair played with.
73. I secretly love wearing skirts.
74. I miss the big city.
75. I love the mountains.
76. My favorite book in the Bible is 1John.
77. My favorite person in the Bible is Paul.
78. Mint Chocolate Chip icecream makes me smile.
79. I love peanut butter.
80. I miss good Mexican food.
81. I don't watch t.v.
82. I like going to the movies with Nathan.
83. I like Christian music.
84. I miss Grandma.
85. I miss my Papa.
86. I miss Adam.
87. One of my favorite people is Grando.
88. I love the West Wing.
89. I love to have spiritual conversations.
90. I'm excited to go to heaven and have talks with Jesus.
91. I'm glad that I went to the same college as my sis and my cousins.
92. I'm glad I lived with my Aunt and Uncle.
93. I have a hard time being still.
94. I've struggled with depression.
95. I truely believe I will never go down that road again.
96. I have been blessed in so many ways.
97. I'm doing this list for my sister.
98. I've always looked up to my sister.
99. My brother is the funniest person I know.
100. Whew, I'm happy to be done!
2. Lana means "light in the darkness"
3. My mom likes me the best because her middle name is Carol too.
4. My mom's first name is Debby
5. My dad's name is Marcus.
6. I'm the middle child.
7. My sister's name is Myra
8. My brother's name is Alex
9. I have a brother-in-law named Patrick
10. I have a niece named Morgandy
11. I have been to Mexico.
12. I have been to Brazil.
13. I have been to Uganda.
14. I have blond hair.
15. I have blue eyes.
16. I am 5'8" tall(no matter what Kelly says)
17. I was born in Arlington, Tx.
18. I have lived in Crestwood, Ky.
19. I lived in Humble, Tx.
20. I've lived in Oklahoma City, OK.
21. I live in Missoula, Montana.
22. I enjoy Montana, but I miss the South.
23. I went to Oklahoma Christian University.
24. I also went to Kingwood Community College.
25. I also went to University of Central Oklahoma.
26. I also went to University of Montana.
27. The last 4 sentences make me laugh and cry.
28. My major is in Applied Heath Science.
29. I wish that someone would just hand me my degree.
30. I played soccer.
31. I am a black belt in Taekwondo.
32. I wish I was back in Taekwondo.
33. I was in Student Senate at OC.
34. I was also in Gamma Rho, a social service club at OC.
35. I miss being in club, I loved it.
36. I have never had just one best friend.
37. I have never enjoyed being in cliques.
38. I have many friends from many walks of life.
39. I'm a push over.
40. I love to travel.
41. I want to go to India.
42. I love anatomy.
43. I love reading.
44. I rarely don't make my bed.
45. I wish I would cook more.
46. I live with a great family.
47. Families are very important to me.
48. My first job was at Dominoe's Pizza.
49. My job now is at a Chiopractor's office as a receptionist.
50. My favorite job was as a Barista.
51. I need to eat better.
52. I miss having desert with my friends Kim, Lily, and Tamika.
53. I love Sunday nights with the Girls.
54. I love the outdoors.
55. I have a scar on my hand from falling on a furnace.
56. I've had surgery on my foot.
57. I use to wear braces.
58. My front two teeth are mostly fake.
59. I wish my family lived closer to me.
60. I have two very cute red heads in my life.
61. I love to clean.
62. I like people.
63. I like to be by myself too.
64. I love singing in church.
65. I can't sing well at all.
66. I have been on a Cruise.
67. I wish I was a better listener.
68. I love to laugh.
69. I love to be the center of attention.
70. I really do like to pray.
71. I love back rubs.
72. I like to have my hair played with.
73. I secretly love wearing skirts.
74. I miss the big city.
75. I love the mountains.
76. My favorite book in the Bible is 1John.
77. My favorite person in the Bible is Paul.
78. Mint Chocolate Chip icecream makes me smile.
79. I love peanut butter.
80. I miss good Mexican food.
81. I don't watch t.v.
82. I like going to the movies with Nathan.
83. I like Christian music.
84. I miss Grandma.
85. I miss my Papa.
86. I miss Adam.
87. One of my favorite people is Grando.
88. I love the West Wing.
89. I love to have spiritual conversations.
90. I'm excited to go to heaven and have talks with Jesus.
91. I'm glad that I went to the same college as my sis and my cousins.
92. I'm glad I lived with my Aunt and Uncle.
93. I have a hard time being still.
94. I've struggled with depression.
95. I truely believe I will never go down that road again.
96. I have been blessed in so many ways.
97. I'm doing this list for my sister.
98. I've always looked up to my sister.
99. My brother is the funniest person I know.
100. Whew, I'm happy to be done!
Sunday, March 25, 2007
The past 2 months and 9 days have been rough. I've struggled to find happiness in many things. Although this is unlike me, it has made things in my life very real. For the first time in my 26 years of life I am realizing that these feelings are ok to have. I don't always have to be the life of the party(even though I truly enjoy it). I've learned to be sad even when others around me get uncomfortable.
Spiritually speaking I feel like I have been stretched, sometimes beyond what I think I can handle. And I'm not quite sure what God wants me to learn sometimes.
Spencer and Emily Bogle are missionaries in Jinja and life long friends. I recently read a post that Spencer put on the Jinja blog and it helped me figure out some things.
Spence talked about missing Adam being around and not just for his famous stories, but for the times just sitting at the table with him. Although Adam and I have been apart for many years, I know that when it comes time to visit my family I will feel that void too. I'll miss playing cards with him. I'll really miss playing games outside. Going to the Langfords was always fun. We almost always ended up playing a game that was usually just made up, all you needed was a ball of any kind and a great imagination.
Spence also used a quote from Christ plays in Ten Thousand Places, by Eugene Peterson. It reads, "The story in which God does His saving work arises among a people whose primary experience of God is his absence"
I know that God is here in the midst of all the heartache. Suffering has been a big part of my life recently, but God is still in my face keeping me going even when its a lot harder.
I guess I'll have to keep my chin up for now, and keep on trusting that God is here working in me.
Spiritually speaking I feel like I have been stretched, sometimes beyond what I think I can handle. And I'm not quite sure what God wants me to learn sometimes.
Spencer and Emily Bogle are missionaries in Jinja and life long friends. I recently read a post that Spencer put on the Jinja blog and it helped me figure out some things.
Spence talked about missing Adam being around and not just for his famous stories, but for the times just sitting at the table with him. Although Adam and I have been apart for many years, I know that when it comes time to visit my family I will feel that void too. I'll miss playing cards with him. I'll really miss playing games outside. Going to the Langfords was always fun. We almost always ended up playing a game that was usually just made up, all you needed was a ball of any kind and a great imagination.
Spence also used a quote from Christ plays in Ten Thousand Places, by Eugene Peterson. It reads, "The story in which God does His saving work arises among a people whose primary experience of God is his absence"
I know that God is here in the midst of all the heartache. Suffering has been a big part of my life recently, but God is still in my face keeping me going even when its a lot harder.
I guess I'll have to keep my chin up for now, and keep on trusting that God is here working in me.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Stuck in a Rut
In about a month I am turning 27. This seems like the longest year of my life. I have had more troubles this year then I think anyone should be aloud in one decade. But thats ok. Cause I have pushed through most things and I've also grown more this year then I have in about a decade.
But I'm stuck right now. I think I'm writing this here because this seems like something to process. I recently told my mom that I feel like I have been handed a package deal of crap. Normally, I can get out of a negative mood. I can always turn something bad into something postive. Even encouraging when it can be a challenge has never been a struggle for me. However, right now I'm in a rut that I can't seem to get out of. It seems that nothing and nobody can make this change lately.
I guess that is where I'm not getting any relief from crap city. I'm relying to much on situations and people. Geez! Thats totally not going to get me out at all! I need to rely on God more than anything or anyone else. This seems so easy to say but so hard to do. I'm not sure exactly why because He has never let me down or never left me even when I've left Him.
Well that felt better. I know I'm so smart I should be a brain surgeon.
But I'm stuck right now. I think I'm writing this here because this seems like something to process. I recently told my mom that I feel like I have been handed a package deal of crap. Normally, I can get out of a negative mood. I can always turn something bad into something postive. Even encouraging when it can be a challenge has never been a struggle for me. However, right now I'm in a rut that I can't seem to get out of. It seems that nothing and nobody can make this change lately.
I guess that is where I'm not getting any relief from crap city. I'm relying to much on situations and people. Geez! Thats totally not going to get me out at all! I need to rely on God more than anything or anyone else. This seems so easy to say but so hard to do. I'm not sure exactly why because He has never let me down or never left me even when I've left Him.
Well that felt better. I know I'm so smart I should be a brain surgeon.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Da DaDa Da...
I have a new cousin! Noah Adam was born last Wednsday in OKC. He was 9lbs and 3oz. Mom and baby are doing well. He's much need joy at this time in our lives.
Me and my dear friends, Jen and Jess will be traveling to Portland, OR in a few weeks to see this new addition. I am so ready for this time. Not only does it mean a road trip, but I will also get to see my family! It been really hard being so far away from them. This will be so great to share stories of Adam. They day we come back, The Ben Langfords along with my Aunt and Uncle will be going back to Jinja, Uganda. Please pray for this, I know that it will be really emotional. Going back to the last place Adam was will be hard.
Me and my dear friends, Jen and Jess will be traveling to Portland, OR in a few weeks to see this new addition. I am so ready for this time. Not only does it mean a road trip, but I will also get to see my family! It been really hard being so far away from them. This will be so great to share stories of Adam. They day we come back, The Ben Langfords along with my Aunt and Uncle will be going back to Jinja, Uganda. Please pray for this, I know that it will be really emotional. Going back to the last place Adam was will be hard.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Something to make you smile!
My friend Katie teaches the second grade class at Missoula Valley Church. They have been talking about encouragement(one of my favorite subjects!)
Last night I got a few cards from some of the girls. Here is what some of them said...
"Lana, I'm sorry your cousin dide"
"Lana, I'm sad your cousin died, my grampa died."
and my favorite...
"Lana, I'm sorry your cousin died, my bunny died."
One of the boys wrote to our Preacher, Donny. His card read...
"Donny, thanks for being our Priest."
Isn't that great!
I'm thankful for the encouraging kids in Missoula!
Last night I got a few cards from some of the girls. Here is what some of them said...
"Lana, I'm sorry your cousin dide"
"Lana, I'm sad your cousin died, my grampa died."
and my favorite...
"Lana, I'm sorry your cousin died, my bunny died."
One of the boys wrote to our Preacher, Donny. His card read...
"Donny, thanks for being our Priest."
Isn't that great!
I'm thankful for the encouraging kids in Missoula!
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
My life song
My life song recently has been, I will Praise You in this Storm, by Casting Crowns. I love the words to this song. Giving God the praise and glory even when things are a mess.
I was talking to a friend the other day about my storm. If you heard about everything that was going on you would think that I was a high maintance drama queen. I'm just hoping that God's plan is to make me really strong. Cause if that is His plan, then watch out Satan.
I say that song is my life song because of hard times. And I pray that it is what others see. I pray that I can give God praise in the midst of this storm.
I was talking to a friend the other day about my storm. If you heard about everything that was going on you would think that I was a high maintance drama queen. I'm just hoping that God's plan is to make me really strong. Cause if that is His plan, then watch out Satan.
I say that song is my life song because of hard times. And I pray that it is what others see. I pray that I can give God praise in the midst of this storm.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
I feel like my life has been in super fast motion since I have been back from Uganda. Almost two weeks ago I was in Jinja waiting for Adam to get back from buying coffee so that I could tell him about the awesome day I had just had. But Adam didn't come back.
It was about 7:30 or 8:00pm and Ben, Kym, Eli, the Bogles, and I were visiting at the Langfords house when we got the call. Adam and Moses, a Ugandan friend had been in an accident. But that is about all we knew. I had no idea that the next few hours I would spend driving to Kapchurua to find Adam and Moses, only to find that both had died. It felt like a bad dream, or like something you would see in the movies, but it definiately did not feel like reality. I couldn't believe that either of them were dead, I had just spent the last 3 weeks with Adam and had gotten to know Moses.
Coming back to the states was fast and unexpected. I couldn't wait to see friends and family but was sad to have to come back so soon. I arrived in Missoula to a great group of friends and spent the next day getting ready to go to OKC for the funeral. It seemed like from the moment I set foot in the US I felt the love of so many of you. I had calls from many friends, old and new. I had e-mails from many caring people from the states and from Uganda. Adam touched so many lives and it was easy to see.
Adam and I had many great talks while I was staying with him in Jinja. I was so proud of him. I got to see a side of him that was different then usual. Adam is a very funny person, and any time I knew that he was around I also knew that it would be fun. But in Jinja I saw an extremely caring side of Adam. Adam didn't have too but he was always watching out for me. He knew that I could take care of myself over there but still was always looking out for me. I have great memories of Adam in Uganda. One of my favorite is being stuck in a hotel in Kenya(because of car problems). The Bogles, Adam and I were reading out of the 'hotel Bible'. In the front it had John 3:16 in 15 different languages. We all read a different language and laughed so hard that night. That was my cousin, always laughing in the midst of a hard situation.
The funeral was held on this past Wednesday. I had never been to anything like it. There were so many people there who knew Adam in some way. It was great to be with my family and with the Jinja team.
I am in Flordia now and will go back to Missoula at the end of this week. Thank you for the prayers and support you have shown me and my family in the last couple of weeks.
It was about 7:30 or 8:00pm and Ben, Kym, Eli, the Bogles, and I were visiting at the Langfords house when we got the call. Adam and Moses, a Ugandan friend had been in an accident. But that is about all we knew. I had no idea that the next few hours I would spend driving to Kapchurua to find Adam and Moses, only to find that both had died. It felt like a bad dream, or like something you would see in the movies, but it definiately did not feel like reality. I couldn't believe that either of them were dead, I had just spent the last 3 weeks with Adam and had gotten to know Moses.
Coming back to the states was fast and unexpected. I couldn't wait to see friends and family but was sad to have to come back so soon. I arrived in Missoula to a great group of friends and spent the next day getting ready to go to OKC for the funeral. It seemed like from the moment I set foot in the US I felt the love of so many of you. I had calls from many friends, old and new. I had e-mails from many caring people from the states and from Uganda. Adam touched so many lives and it was easy to see.
Adam and I had many great talks while I was staying with him in Jinja. I was so proud of him. I got to see a side of him that was different then usual. Adam is a very funny person, and any time I knew that he was around I also knew that it would be fun. But in Jinja I saw an extremely caring side of Adam. Adam didn't have too but he was always watching out for me. He knew that I could take care of myself over there but still was always looking out for me. I have great memories of Adam in Uganda. One of my favorite is being stuck in a hotel in Kenya(because of car problems). The Bogles, Adam and I were reading out of the 'hotel Bible'. In the front it had John 3:16 in 15 different languages. We all read a different language and laughed so hard that night. That was my cousin, always laughing in the midst of a hard situation.
The funeral was held on this past Wednesday. I had never been to anything like it. There were so many people there who knew Adam in some way. It was great to be with my family and with the Jinja team.
I am in Flordia now and will go back to Missoula at the end of this week. Thank you for the prayers and support you have shown me and my family in the last couple of weeks.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
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