The Green Light

It has been a year and a half since our last miscarriage.  

It has been 11 months since we first saw Dr. Cowen.

Finally, we got a green light to try and have a baby!  

I've been hesitant to write this because I have no idea how much longer it will be until I get to write what will be one of my favorite post ever....the one were I tell you that we are expecting and every one is healthy.  But I do know that it is closer that it was.  At my last Dr. appointment I loved getting to answer all the questions that he asks every time.  It was great this time because after a summer of traveling and not eating the way I had been I was ready for him to tell me I had to wait longer.  Instead he let me know that I have done a great job at getting healthy and even with my routine all out of whack, I'm ready to have a baby and will have a very healthy home for it.  I finally feel like all this hard work is paying off.  

Thank you for your prayers and support.  I am so thankful for God's hand in this.  In fact I'm not even scared to get pregnant anymore.  However, once I do it will be well into my second trimester before any of you know.  But at least its getting closer!

The Discovery Lab

June 12, 2010

Dear Family and Friends,

We hope this letter finds you well.  We think of you and your families often.  Nathan and I are writing this to share with you what God has been doing lately in our lives, and we would love to hear what He is doing in yours.

For the past few months, we have been spiritually lost and trying to figure out what direction God wants us to take. We finally came to the conclusion that we needed to stop whining about being lost and instead listen to God. 

            Soon after, the youth minister’s position became open in our church.  This got us thinking, and we began to seriously discuss and pray about going into the ministry.  We had a meeting with our pastor to discuss the youth position and the idea of going into the ministry. We all agreed that the position at our current church was not the right fit for us; really, we had no idea what the right fit might be.  Our minister suggested we spend some time trying to discover what type of ministry we were passionate about.  The next day our good friends, Josh and Jaime Fisher told us about the Discovery Lab, where young church leaders go to discover if they are interested in becoming church planters. 

The Discovery Lab is part of a national ministry called Mission Alive.  The purpose of Mission Alive is “to discover, equip, place, and nurture church planting leaders who will plant missional churches in suburbs, city centers, and poverty areas with unbelievers as the primary target.”  Once we found out about this ministry, we both were very excited.  Since then, we have had a phone conversation with the head of Mission Alive, Gailyn, and his wife Becky.  They are amazing people, and we are really excited to get to know them.

The first step in joining this ministry is to attend the four-day “Discovery Lab” to discover if this ministry is right for us.  Before we are able to attend however, we had to fill out a pretty intense application.  We both finished the application about two weeks ago; it was very cleansing in a way. This whole process has happened so fast, and our lab is in Connecticut from July 15-18 of this year!  We have about four weeks to raise money to go to the Discovery Lab.  We need to raise $950 for the Lab, and this covers our costs while attending the Lab as well as helping to cover the costs of the Mission Alive team. 

It is tempting to lean on our own abilities and resources to find a way to pay for the Lab.  However, the Mission Alive team has encouraged us to raise the money.  If we become church planting missionaries, we will have to learn how to raise money; and more importantly, we will have to be dependent upon God and His people for support.  This also gives us an opportunity to share with our family and friends what God is doing in our lives.  We are sorry this letter gives you short notice, and we are sorry that it comes in the form of an email rather than a more traditional letter.  However, this happened quickly, and we are excited God has given us this opportunity.  If you feel led to support us financially, we would obviously greatly appreciate it.  There are many other ways we would appreciate your support as well.  Please pray for us—pray for safe travel and that our hearts and minds are open to what God has to share with us.  Please ask us about Mission Alive and the amazing things God is doing through this ministry.  Even if we do not eventually become a part of this ministry, it is full of amazing, Godly people doing God’s work.  And, please let us serve you.  We have few talents, but we are willing.

If you have questions, please feel free to contact us.  You can follow us on Lana’s blog at www.lanamcbanana.blogspot.com as we discover this ministry and learn what God has ready for us. We will send an update when we have finished the Discovery Lab and let you know what our next steps will be.  You can also check out the Mission Alive website at www.missionalive.org. 

Much Love,

Lana and Nathan

Lana: (660) 233-2033 and lanamcbanana@gmail.com

Nathan: (660) 909-8501 and nfamiller@gmail.com

Mowing Adventures

Our yard hasn't been mowed in a while so I volunteered to do it.  I have never done a zero turn mower so it took some getting used to.  But after I knocked over the air conditioner and ran into the barn and almost got stuck in the ditch, I really enjoyed it.  Here are some highlights.

       

I had an outfit picked out for the event.  You can tell in the back ground that our grass was at least a foot tall.

The after shot.  See the swirls?  I learned how to do donuts.

I got much better and learned how to get around the tough spots.

This cat was very thankful for the short grass.

This orange lily(and spider) survived.  Others like it may not have.

        

This was the only life lost in the making of this blog.

I miss Tif!

I haven't taken many pictures this past year.  But recently I got the "itch" to start taking more again.  I wish more than ever Tiffany Williams was around to show me what to do.  But these are some pretty good ones.  

I heart Pepper

When I was a little girl I would go visit my Grando and Papa.  For some reason one thing about my Papa that I always remember is that he loved pepper.  As a child I thought it was gross to see his eggs covered in pepper.  As soon as we would sit down to eat he would reach for the pepper an soon everything on his plate would be covered in pepper.
Recently I discovered that when I look down at my plate it looks very familiar.  I love pepper.  I've never really liked salt, but it's sidekick I sure do love.  I'm very proud of loving pepper.  My Papa was an amazing man and I feel like I have a little of him in me when I sit down to eat and reach for the pepper.

Memory Monday

This was the fire at Mount Sentinal.  My friend Tiffany came over and we practiced our photography skills.  

Prayers and Praises

I keep meaning to write this and then find other things that I think need to be done.  I can be really bad about not sharing good news and instead update you on the bad in my life.  But this blog will have some of both, the good and the still sad.

I know so many people have been praying for me and the last couple of weeks I've been able to feel it.  I still don't like this place at all.  But it has been more bearable lately.  I feel great.  I'm not sure I've ever felt this healthy and it is amazing.  At the beginning of this new health thing I wished more than ever that I still lived in Missoula.  It would have been so much easier to eat and I would have had so much more support.  I get a lot of things like...You make me sick(eating so healthy) and I could never take(fill in the blank)out of my diet and for some reason lots of people roll their eyes at you when you eat healthy.  I was mad at God for making live here at try to do something that seemed impossible and lonely.  But as always He knew what he was doing.  Recently people have asked me for my Naturalpath's number.  People have even showed interest in having a more healthy lifestyle.  I've shared my story of this crazy journey more times in the last week and each time I do, it feels amazing.

Of course, Nathan has been very supportive and even feels better too.  I have friends here who are interested and have even cooked some gluten free things for me.  I am very grateful for this change.

I keep thinking of the song, Blessed be the Name of the Lord.  I really like the verse that says....You GIVE and TAKE away.  I feel like that has been my last year and a half.  I have felt so far away from God and have even had feelings of giving up on Him.  But I recently found out that I'm not in the black hole I thought I was.  I'm just in the Wilderness trying hard to find my way out.  Someone recently told me that even if you're complaining to God, it's a form of worship.  It's not the form I want to do forever, but it made me feel like I'm not totally lost.  I know God is here with me.  I don't think I would know that if I didn't have so many of you praying for me.  Thank you again.

I started my month long hormone test on Saturday.  Please pray that everything goes the way it should.  Each month I'm more ready than ever to be a mom.  Also continue to pray for me to get out of this Wilderness.  I'm still sad and struggling to live here.  Some things are getting better and I'm thankful for that.

Thanks again for all your encouragement and prayers.  Things are getting better.

A memorable Easter

This is from one of my favorite Easters ever.  We were at a sunrise service at Blue Mt.  It was so amazing to see the sun come up over the mountains and worship God who created all.  

Memory Monday

I'm going to try to blog more so I'm starting a new thing called Memory Monday.  This way I can have a smile or laugh about things that have happened in the past.  I also try to always include a picture...Enjoy!

This is a Thank You picture to Angie and Jeremy...they made us the quilt for our wedding.

I'm glad I have a husband who is willing to do 'shenanigans' with me. And by the way this is the best nap quilt ever.  I'm almost certain that it has magic nap powers.

My Valentine

In the words of Sally Brown(Charlie Brown's sister)..."Isn't he the cutest thing you ever did see"

Guest Blogger

Well Lana is again making a wonderful dinner, and on this snow-day, Lana asked me to write a blog post.

Let me first say I love my wife. She is beautiful, funny, and takes better care of me than I ever imagined possible. Just today she has made me breakfast, cookies, and is currently making a soup that boggles the mind and taste-buds. And those are just surface, silly things; she is emotionally the reason I am.

I have felt horrible recently because Lana has not been happy while here in Missouri. A lot of things have not gone the way we envisioned them, and though we know God is very near, we have not had the eternal eyes to acknowledge His work. And yet, Lana, though depressed, is still amazing and full of life when we are alone together (the rest of you are missing out and that is seriously your loss). Our relationship has grown greatly as we depend more on each other to survive a life we aren't always happy with. We have faith that God is waiting for us to get out of our funk and listen to Him. Lana questions her faith right now, but I assure her she is not lost. I know no one who mourns the hurt and loss of others more than she. "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and mourn with those who mourn." And though we may not be rejoicing much on our own currently, we have--we will--and Lana continues to love and care for me and show an empathy for the world I never imagine possible.

So please continue to pray for us, for Lana's health, for wisdom in what we should do. And if at all possible, laugh with us--we need to laugh... Also, try not to ask Lana too much about her job or her health (I mean show you care, but spend more time discussing other things). She is getting healthier though not where she wants to be yet; and her job stinks (don't talk about the job). Ask her about God and the future, and tell her everything about yourself. Thank you all, you have given us so much. And thank you to all who read this, because I know you all contributed in some way in making my wife who she is--and I like her quite a bit.

On a lighter and scarier note, we saw a bald eagle (no joke) carrying a dead cat down our road the other day. Our cats may not survive.

Guest Blogger,

The Husband

20 Reasons why we love Dad...Part 2

Today is my dad's 60th Birthday. Since all his kids are spread out everywhere and couldn't be with him, we thought we'd send him good internet wishes. And since there are 3 of us we are doing 20 each because 20 times 3 equals 60(thanks dad for the math brains).

The following are 20 reasons why I love my dad.

21. the way he loves my mom

22. how hard he has worked to get to where he is today

23. how he strive to be healthy in what he eats

24. how adventurous he is

25. how fearless he is in all he does

26. his sincerity for everyone he meets

27. how he is very interested in other people's names(I often don't care and I think you should)

28. how he is still very active and its important to him

29. he never gives up

30. how much he loves his job

31. how he taught all of us that church is important even when we didn't want to go

32. he would do anything for us

33. he loves all his kids and is our biggest fan

34. how passionate he is about golf

35. he would do anything to help anyone out

36. he used to help me with math homework...trust me this had to make the list cause thats not an easy task, but he still did it.

37. he took us to see many things that most people didn't get the opportunity to see

38. he is passionate about mission trips

39. his love for me and my husband

40. his ability to always be calm

Happy Birthday Dad. I hope you have a great day. Thanks for all that you do for us. Love ya! Lana

www.myramoran.blogspot.com

www.alexlaird.blogspot.com

Christmas in Oklahoma

Nathan and I went to see my family in Oklahoma after Christmas. We had a great time and as my sister put it, as always we felt right at home at my Aunt Kathy and Uncle Terry's house. It was a fun holiday with both families this year!

Mo and Aunt Kathy

funny faces with Mo

Sisters with hats

Grando had lots of presents

A letter to 2010

Dear 2010,

Tomorrow we will meet and I am surprisingly excited. I know that we don't know each other yet but I'm convinced that we will be good to each other. Your old pal, 2009, and me didn't get along so well. Thankfully, we are leaving each other on a high note.

I'm afraid that I have big expectations for you. But I'm sure you will be able to live up to them. I think you and I should discuss having a baby this year. You'd be great as a Birthday. Also, I know its far away, but I'd like to remember you as the year we became happy again. I'm really wanting Nathan to be happy with his job. You haven't met him yet, but you will love him. He will be the one awake to welcome you tonight. Oh yeah, please don't hold that against me. I most likely won't be able to see your fresh new start, but you will be there for mine so hopefully that will be good enough.

Well, 2010, I am glad we had this talk. See you in the morning.

Your friend,

Lana

1 Christmas down, 2 to go...

the new puppy, "Truman" for the Foster kids
Snow!

lots of sledding

Christmas Ornaments and trying to be artsy...

Nathan and I went to see How the Symphony Saved Christmas. We had a great time together. The rest of these are me just trying to be artsy...

My Advent Calendar has been filled with great stuff!

B2 Bomber

Wednesday before Thanksgiving we went to see the B2 Bombers. It was a great tour and we had an awesome time. Here are some highlights....

Mom and dad in the cockpit.

The Bus that took all 8 of us there.

Right in front of the B2

Taylor and I in the drivers seat!

It was too big to get a full picture of. It really was really cool to see it up close.

Thanksgiving

This year Nathan and I have tried to talk more about what we are thankful for. This is good for you when you've become the most negative person ever. It helps you remember that when everything seems to be going wrong God is there, arms open, ready to show you that things aren't so bad. So here are a few things I'm thankful for this year.

I'm thankful that we get to have elk for thanksgiving this year. And my family will be here!

No, I'm not thankful for cats. I still think they are dumb. I am thankful that I can hold them with out dying now. I'm thankful for my health and how much better I feel.

I'm thankful that I got to go see my family this fall. And I'm thankful for my new nephew and this cute red head.

And I'm very thankful for this red head. I'm constantly falling more in love with him. I'm so thankful that he loves me and that God gave me him.

Kittens

We just got some free kittens to hopefully scare the mice away. They are really cute even though I don't like cats. I'm allergic so they have to stay outside. I'll I ask is that they be cute and kill mice. Their names are Heidi Klum and Anne of Green Gables.

getting good back scratch

Heidi Klum posing for her fall shoot

She really wants in

Before and After...

I've been doing some changing around here. Here are some before and after pictures of things I'm getting my hands on...

Ugly Pillow

Cute Pillow

Pumpkin

Pie!