A letter to 2010

Dear 2010,

Tomorrow we will meet and I am surprisingly excited. I know that we don't know each other yet but I'm convinced that we will be good to each other. Your old pal, 2009, and me didn't get along so well. Thankfully, we are leaving each other on a high note.

I'm afraid that I have big expectations for you. But I'm sure you will be able to live up to them. I think you and I should discuss having a baby this year. You'd be great as a Birthday. Also, I know its far away, but I'd like to remember you as the year we became happy again. I'm really wanting Nathan to be happy with his job. You haven't met him yet, but you will love him. He will be the one awake to welcome you tonight. Oh yeah, please don't hold that against me. I most likely won't be able to see your fresh new start, but you will be there for mine so hopefully that will be good enough.

Well, 2010, I am glad we had this talk. See you in the morning.

Your friend,

Lana

1 Christmas down, 2 to go...

the new puppy, "Truman" for the Foster kids
Snow!

lots of sledding

Christmas Ornaments and trying to be artsy...

Nathan and I went to see How the Symphony Saved Christmas. We had a great time together. The rest of these are me just trying to be artsy...

My Advent Calendar has been filled with great stuff!

B2 Bomber

Wednesday before Thanksgiving we went to see the B2 Bombers. It was a great tour and we had an awesome time. Here are some highlights....

Mom and dad in the cockpit.

The Bus that took all 8 of us there.

Right in front of the B2

Taylor and I in the drivers seat!

It was too big to get a full picture of. It really was really cool to see it up close.

Thanksgiving

This year Nathan and I have tried to talk more about what we are thankful for. This is good for you when you've become the most negative person ever. It helps you remember that when everything seems to be going wrong God is there, arms open, ready to show you that things aren't so bad. So here are a few things I'm thankful for this year.

I'm thankful that we get to have elk for thanksgiving this year. And my family will be here!

No, I'm not thankful for cats. I still think they are dumb. I am thankful that I can hold them with out dying now. I'm thankful for my health and how much better I feel.

I'm thankful that I got to go see my family this fall. And I'm thankful for my new nephew and this cute red head.

And I'm very thankful for this red head. I'm constantly falling more in love with him. I'm so thankful that he loves me and that God gave me him.

Kittens

We just got some free kittens to hopefully scare the mice away. They are really cute even though I don't like cats. I'm allergic so they have to stay outside. I'll I ask is that they be cute and kill mice. Their names are Heidi Klum and Anne of Green Gables.

getting good back scratch

Heidi Klum posing for her fall shoot

She really wants in

Before and After...

I've been doing some changing around here. Here are some before and after pictures of things I'm getting my hands on...

Ugly Pillow

Cute Pillow

Pumpkin

Pie!

God is good...

We went to find out some results of a hormone test I took today. For some reason I had peace about finding out our results. I say "for some reason" because bad news seems to be very common in our life lately.

When I was at the Lighthouse in OKC, we often said, "God is good, all the time. And all the time, God is good." I think that I have recently forgotten this. No matter what God is there, even when everything feels like its falling apart.

Well today was a good day. After almost a year we now know what caused our miscarriages. My body doesn't make enough cortisol. This is a hormone that helps with energy throughout the day. I have lots of energy since I've been living a healthier lifestyle but still not what I should. Anyways, when your body doesn't make enough cortisol, it borrows from progesterone. So that is why when I was pregnant I wasn't making enough progesterone.

So the solution to this is for the most part easy. I need to watch my blood sugar and eat a good breakfast. Our doctor said that I need to be eating breakfast like I do dinner. I also need to eat more protein and fiber.

So I will once again have to work on my diet. But it will hopefully be worth it in the end. Thank you to all who prayed for us today! We will keep you updated!

Happy Birthday to my favorite Mo!

My niece is turning 3 on Monday. Technically she is my first niece and although I never get to see her she really is the greatest little person I know. I'm excited for her 3rd year and I hope I get to see her more. Happy Birthday Morgandi!

Apple Picking

We went apple picking this past weekend. It was a basket full of fun:)

A bump in the road

Week two of my liver cleanse has been quite a challenge. This week I came down with pneumonia. I went to see my naturalpathic doctor so that I wouldn't be put on anitbiotics. I know some of you are thinking that this is a crazy idea. I should want antibiotics right? Well I don't right now. I have worked very hard to get all the yeast out of my body. I've eaten great and only have one week left to drink the nasty stuff. Anyways, my doctor gave me lots of stuff and so far I feel much better.

I discovered that eating healthy is really hard when you are sick. Nathan and I have enjoyed eating healthy these past weeks. I don't really even miss the other stuff cause I know how it will make me feel after I've eaten it. Man, that last sentence would have come in handy in many areas of my life in the past. Anyways, the only thing is that everything has to be prepared and when your both sick, that is a challenge. But we managed and found some half way easy recipes to get us through.

I've had a couple people ask me if I'm going to keep this up after 6 months. I'm not sure that I will stay as strict, but I will make better choices. Eat healthy for a week and you will see the difference. Not only does it taste good, but you won't feel as bad after you eat.

Prayers for this week: Please continue to pray for my job. And that I will allow God to have complete control over my life. I've been trying to hard to do things on my own and its wearing me out. Also, pray that I can make it to Orlando next weekend. I really want to see my family and Mo will be there. I've been wanting to play with her for a while now.

A new lifestyle...

I started my liver cleanse last Monday. So far its been ok. We have decided that eating healthy tastes really good. When I think about what I was putting in my body before it makes me upset at myself. I realize most people eat unhealthy but I'm not sure why I choose to do that now.

In just a week I have been able to tell a difference. I've lost some weight and hope to loose a little bit more. I don't have much energy but that is to be expected while I do this cleanse. I'm not sure if the feeling better is more mental right now, but I guess that is a place to start.

Its been interesting to hear peoples reactions. Many seem to be worried about me right now.

Which I totally appreciate, however, it hit me last night that the worry should of come before I started making healthy choices. I'm sure people did then too, but now I'm on the way to a healthy life.

Thanks for your prayers and encouragement.

Please keep praying for my job. I really don't like it. It's really draining me. I realize that I may be making a difference in some of these kids lives but thats hard to see when they are cursing at you and biting and kicking and hitting and spitting on you. I know that we are here for a reason but I'm ready for God to show me why in a very clear way. I'm very lost and confused right now. Most things are better than last year, I just can't seem to get the feeling of dread to leave me. Pray that I don't dread everything I do here and that I can see more clearly why we are here.

World on Fire

This is one of my favorite music videos ever. I know that its old but I think its a good reminder. Its funny how things like this make us feel great, yet most of us will go on about our day. Try not to forget this. Tell others. Do something for someone, near or far. Think about our healthcare crisis and remind yourself that some people don't even have the opportunities that we do. Pray for those who actually struggle with Healthcare and those who don't even have it. Thank God for the things you do have and ask Him to show you ways you can help others.

click here

World on Fire

Let's get personal...

I've debated whether to write this or not and decided why not? 1. No one reads this blog anyways. 2. This way I won't have to talk about it 400 times. So lets get personal and talk about my health.

A little background first

Last year Nathan and I moved to Missouri. As a person who suffers from allergies, its not the best state to live in. Yes, its pretty but I can't say that I have been able to enjoy the beauty through watery eyes.

Also last year we had two miscarriages. Last year was not the best year of my life. It by far was a hard year for us both. Things are getting better.

The allergies are just part of living here and can be helped but will probably not completely go away while we still live here.

I've never been told any real reason why I've miscarried. I've heard a lot of Doctors and people say its just something that happens. And I was told that my progesterone was low but that was never clear. So this summer I was put on progesterone and the only thing that happened was I had a period about every 2 weeks. Not fun.

So I recently got advice from a friend to go see a Naturalpathic Doctor. That she had seen one and he helped her with so many issues that I also have. So I found one in Columbia and so far have been very pleased.

Last week Nathan and I met with him for 2 hours and he took notes and asked questions about what I have been going through. I told him everything from having mono to allergies/sinus infections to miscarriages. He was really good at asking the right questions and helping us fill in the blanks as far as how the body works. And he sent me to get some basic blood work.

The Results...

First of all he asked me what we want to get under control the most. My answer is first and foremost I want to have a baby one day. The allergies will be here as long as I'm living here so they came in second for me. But one reason why I like this doctor is because everything goes together.

I'm pretty healthy over all. However, I must have had the worse case of Mono ever cause I still have it two years later. Its not so bad that I need to stay home from work and sleep all day(darn.) But it is causing some issues with my liver, my immune system, and my digestive system.

The liver produces hormones that I lack. So this is the main thing we will focus on in the next couple of weeks. Also because I have had so many antibiotics this past year my body is not making "good" bacteria any more. You don't always need antibiotics for everything because it kills all your bacteria so the next time you get an infection your "good" bacteria is not there to fight it off. So I'm going to be taking probiotics for a while to get my good bacteria back. Also I'm not anemic but my iron level is a little low(probably from the mono). So I'll be taking iron for a few months too raise my energy level. Also I'll be taking a B complex to raise my energy. To start off with I have to do a liver cleanse. I'm looking forward to this so I can start feeling better. I'm also going to take seaweed and Omega 3 to reduce inflamation that the mono has also blessed me with. Also I have to have a better diet. Almost like a yeast free or Glueten free diet.

This is how it all goes together. Make my liver better=better immune system=better digestive system= less allergies/infections and BABY

I'm sure this is confusing so feel free to ask questions.

Here are some things you can pray for....

1. I'm sure I can have a better diet but I think that this will be hard with my lifestyle now.

2. That this next 6 months go quickly

3. That I can feel so much better and be on my way to a healthy pregnancy

4. this is just a bonus but for school. It starts next week and I'm getting depressed about it. But that's a whole other blog.

Try not to be too disappointed....

I hate to burst bubbles, but there is something I must share with you milk lovers out there. I found out last night that they don't milk cows like they use to.

Last night, Nathan and I were walking around the fair when we saw a sign that said "cow milking" with an arrow pointing to the spot. I've always wanted to milk a cow. I got really excited and immediately followed the signs. What I found was not what I was looking for. I was looking for the farmer in his overalls on the stool milking the cow with his hands. Instead I found a building with one wall of windows and a machine milking poor Betsy. How can this be? Who invented such a dumb machine? So it is really fast but its not fun for me or the cow. What am I suppose to tell my children someday. I can't imagine them thinking that getting milk from a cow by way of machine is cool. I know everyone is spending a lot of time talking about health care now, but how could you when obviously there is more wrong in this world. Yes, it is faster to get the milk from the cow but it takes longer so set everything up. Frankly, I'm appalled at how lazy even farmers are now. And I decided that if I ever was a cow I'd be the beef kind now. That's right I'd rather be killed, sold, and eaten then be a machine milked cow. I'm sorry, cow its not your fault. I apologize for those of you who didn't realize this and are now not enjoying your glass of milk as much, but I felt it needed to be shared. I would never put anyone through my sour experience. In the end I did find a cow to milk. It wasn't the same but I guess it will have to do for now.

Missouri State Fair

Last night was 2 dollar night at the fair. It has been really cool here so we thought it was a good time to go. I was trying to work on my photography skills. I decided there is no better place to practice then the state fair. Here are some of my favorites.

Winning Corn at the FFA Building
This sheep helped me out with its willingness to pose.
Even though these say no more trash...you can but trash in here. At least I did.
Who would want to finger feed this guy? Look at those teeth.
And what would a fair be with out the farris wheel.

Lots of Love

Tomorrow is Nathan and my two year anniversary. I remember the days leading up to our wedding. So many people telling us how hard marriage is. Especially the first year. Our first year was great. I loved it more and more every day. Our second year came and we had some hard times. Not with each other but with our surroundings. Our lives weren't constantly happy anymore. It seemed like nothing was working out. However, in the midst of hard times, I was always thinking of how blessed I was to have Nathan. Thankfully, he is my best friend and I never get tired of him.

As I write this, Nathan is lounging on the couch with his newest Time Magazine and a baseball game in the background. And I am sitting here falling more and more in love with him. How is that possible? On the day we got married, I was sure that I loved him more than ever. But today, almost two years later, I love him so much more than that day.

Nathan is always there with encouraging words when I'm feeling down. And trust me that's a huge deal after this past year. He had to be very encouraging. He truly is my best friend. I can't wait for our next year together. I can't imagine that I will love him more than right now. I'm sure I will burst into a million pieces. That is lots of love.

Nathan I love you lots. Thank you for loving me and for being you.

Just some cute pictures to make you smile...

Jen's Birthday party at the park. She is playing in the water here
right before we left Montana. The Partain boys.
Jes Marie, LC(Lana Carol as Jes calls me) and L Ray.
Sawyer blowing bubbles
Dodge.

Our quick trip to Glacier

We made a quick trip up to Glacier before Jes had her baby. I have never seen so many Glacier animals before. We saw everything except a moose. As we were leaving we saw a mama bear and 2 babies, but I didn't get a picture in time. Glacier is always a great place to go, even if its for a short time.

Nathan was excited to get to wear his vest...in July.
This is at the top of the pass. There was tons of snow at the top.
Baby goats about to jump off a boulder. They got really close to us.
The last bit of sunshine of the day.
The Goats were starting to rub off their coats for the summer time. I don't think I even used my zoom on this one. He's kinda cute.

Baby Landon Ray Partain

On friday, my friend Jes had baby Landon. He is so sweet and they are both doing great

Jen and Jes after a not very long labor. Way to go Jes!
Landon with his eyes open. I love his chin.
Jes is holding him now. This is what happens when she holds her son...he sleeps.
Me and Landon. The nurse had just come in and mistaken me for his mom. I must say I look really good for just having a baby.
Thinking about maybe waking up.