To the girls of SCHS...

Dear girls of SCHS,

I have heard that you have been fighting with each other a lot lately.  My first reaction is that is not very smart to do just days before Santa comes.  Then I get really sad.  I'm sad that you feel like something so terrible has happened that you have to rip out each other's earrings and hair.  I'm sorry to say but life will get harder and the things that upset you now will seem very small.  I wish I could embrace you in all your anger and let you know that there is a better answer to your troubles.  I wish I could let you know that boys are silly and not worth the pain, since that is mostly what you are scratching each other over.  I'm sorry that you don't have adults in your life to show you how to work out issues in love.  I wish there was a place that  you could go and see that happening.  I want you to know that God is bigger than problem you ever come across.  I will pray for you all as the next semester approaches.  I will pray that God will bring you peace and love this Christmas.  I will pray that you are filled with thanksgiving for the friends you have and that when Satan tries to get between you, you will feel a peace inside and solve your issues in love.  I will pray that drama in your life seems small to the blessings you receive.  I will pray that adults in your life show you and each other love.

Love,
Lana

a letter to the girls at the high school where my husband teaches.  just something on my heart after hearing they have had at least 2 girl fights a day for a week.

Recent baby news.

I went to my 24 week appt. yesterday and things are going really well.

I got to meet the third of the midwives.  You meet all of them in case one is unavailable.  I really love all of them.  We have also met the doctor, but hopefully that will be the only time I have to see him.  I won't have a doctor unless something goes wrong.

I have now gained 21 lbs.  Most women gain about 10 at this point.  However, I have only gained it in my tummy so we aren't too worried.  In fact, I am really proud.

Also I got to hear the results of our last ultrasound.  He is in the 68% of weight.  So he's a little on the big side right now.  They did not see any sign of a cleft lip or pallet.  And he has all his parts.

Everything is going really well.  We could not be more thankful!

Day 30

I have so many things to be thankful for it's hard to choose on this last day.  So I'm thankful for life and for God who gave me life and Jesus who helps me out when I stink it up.

Day 29

I am thankful for my kinda job.  I call it a kinda job because I'm a sub.  So I don't know when I will work and if I don't want to work I can say no thanks.  I like that everyday I can leave the hard times in the room and not have to bring it home with me.  I like that my weeks look very different.  I can be in a classroom from every school and nothing is ever the same.  I like that I can be in the same school with Nathan sometimes.  I like that I'm known in most of the schools now.  I like that I know most of the students.  I like that I'm pretty good at my job, although I would never want to teach and I would be an awful teacher.  I like that when I have a doctor's appt or when the baby comes I can just say that I'm finished, no awkward talks or paperwork.  I like that somedays I can just be there half a day.  I like that I can just leave at the end of the day.  So even on days like today, when I had a kid throw up and a kid who wasn't paying attention and ran into another student and ended up with a bloody nose, busted lip, and a chipped tooth and a kid who would not listen to me even when I reminded her that I was the adult, I am still thankful for my kinda job.

Day 27 and 28

When we were at the Theology Lab in October we were asked to make a list of "Rules of Life."  I made mine and Nathan made his and when we got home we put them on our bathroom mirror.  I must confess that usually I am terrible at this kind of thing.  I'll do really well for a week and then forget about it.  But this time I have stuck with them.  I've made a commitment to do these rules until the baby gets here and then I will make new ones.  Life is always changing so your rules probably should too.
I've realized this past week that these rules are helping me be better.  I'm thankful for this.  I'm grateful that God knows what I need in certain seasons of my life.  I'm thankful that God is showing me how to be a better part of His Kingdom.
One of my rules was to speak only in love.  This one is really hard.  And I'm not always perfect.  But I've gotten better and that I am thankful for.  This rule may stay on my next list too.

Day 26

Today I'm thankful for getting to spend some time with Nathan.  It wasn't very much but I'll take it.  This Thanksgiving seems to be really busy and not restful, which is good.  But I really enjoyed coming home today and just hanging out with Nathan.  Tomorrow it's back to busy so I'm going to finish enjoying the time we have now.

I'm thankful for Boys!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today I'm filled to the brim with thankfulness for our little boy.  We went for our ultrasound yesterday to make sure everything was ok and find out if it's a boy or girl.  It's a boy for sure.
I was totally convinced it was a girl.  All the old wives tales pointed to girl.  The Chinese Lunar Calendar said girl. Even the heart rate said girl.  I had dreams that it was a girl and just felt like it was. Obviously we didn't care what the sex would be but I am still in unbelief that we are having a boy.
I thank God so much for this blessing.

Day 24

Today I'm thankful for a relaxing day with my husband and niece.  It's been fun to bake and just lay around.

Day 23

I'm thankful for all the little kicks I've been feeling.  I still can't believe that we are going to be having a baby soon.  This is an amazing blessing and I'm enjoying feeling this little baby grow.

PS tomorrow we get to find out blue or pink!

22

Today I am thankful for the nice cold front that is coming through.  I love it when it decides to be fall here.

Day 20 and 21

I am thankful for good health, easy access to food and water, a healthy baby, and a very loving husband who reminds me of these things when I'm having a sad day.

Day 19

I am thankful to God for showing me a good and beautiful life.

Last night I went with Nathan's family to see the Rockettes preform.  It was a great show but the show afterwards was even better.  Nathan's cousin is coming home today from Africa.  He is on leave for the Thanksgiving holidays.  His mom and girlfriend were with me last night and both were glowing.  It was so great to see how excited they were in their own ways.  Patty(the mom) was so excited to have her son home, and soon all of her kids.  Caitlin(the girlfriend) was beaming with excitement to have her love home soon.  I think we could have spent our whole time in an empty stadium and they would have been so happy.

Patty is very outgoing and talks to everyone.  I love it because it reminds me of my family.  Not many people in my family have ever met a stranger.  Patty is the same way and last night was talking to everyone.  As we left the show, Caitlin and I noticed that Patty wasn't with us.  So we waited knowing that she was most likely talking to someone.  When she got down to the exit she turned and started talking to the usher.  I stayed and waited for her.  I'm not really familiar with the venue and didn't want to get lost myself, so I just stood by the wall half listening to her conversation and half wanting to get going.  As she left usher I heard the usher say,"Have a great time with your son and enjoy your holidays."  I thought oh my she is telling every person who will listen about Jacob coming home tomorrow.  I think that is so awesome.  What a love she has for her son.

 I thought about Jesus and wondered if this is how he would spread the Gospel if He had been at the Rockettes show.  I think Jesus totally would have.  He would go around and tell everyone about the love he has to offer and about the amazing things that his followers are doing and how he can't wait to greet them.

I also thought about how we can often get caught up in our life and want to get going instead of stopping and listening to good news.

I'm excited for Jacob and his family today.  I am really excited for the people who will be at the airport today from 3:00 to 4:00 because I'm sure Aunt Patty will be sharing her good news with all of them.  I'm thankful that God reminded me that if I would stop and listen I can witness a good and beautiful life.

Day 18

Today I am thankful for Jaime Fisher and Jes Partian.  I'm glad that I can always call them and ask questions or share laughs on the joy of pregnancy.  I am so glad that these amazing girls are part of my life.

I am also thankful that Nathan took the entire day off tomorrow.  I can't wait to spend a weekday with him!

Days 15, 16, and 17

I'm thankful for Morgandy Skye Moran.  I'm so glad that even though I can count the times I've seen her on two hands, she still knows who I am.  I hope Bretton knows me too someday.

Day 13 and 14

I am thankful that I got to come "home" to my parents house.  I love getting to be here and hanging out with them.  It's funny how when you feel so bad it just takes coming home for even a day or so to feel better.  I think I can make it to Christmas now.  I'm also thankful that my husband supports me when I need a break.

On the 12th day of Thankfulness...

Today I am thankful for the rain and the cool weather.  I have complained(probably too much) lately about the hot days we've been having here. I really love the cold and am one of the few here who likes it.  Yesterday it got cold and rainy.  I am very thankful for the change we have had.

Day 11

Today I am thankful for the all the luxuries I have.  I am thankful that I am able to have food, water, shelter, and a loving family.  I think I take a lot for granted and really notice that I do around this time of the year.  I pray that I can remember to be more thankful for the things I do have.

Day 10

Today I am thankful for really great nieces and nephews.  I was more than excited when Morgandy was born because I became and aunt for the first time.  And then I got married and got 2 more nieces and 2 more nephews.  And now I have one more nephew so....three of each!  I love that they are all at different stages of life right now.  From just almost walking to starting to drive.  They are all very sweet and so much fun.  I'm thankful that God blessed me with such great kids in my life and I pray that I can be Jesus to them.

Day 9

Today I am thankful for getting to live in Missoula, Montana.  I'm not sure if you can be thankful for something in the past but I am.  I'm thankful for the awesome family that I have there.  I'm thankful for meeting my husband there.  I'm thankful for the friendships I have there.  I'm really thankful for the amazing adventures that I got to go on.

I'm also thankful for places like these....

Day 8

Today I am very thankful for my Grando.  I've been thinking about her with all sorts of baby gifts that we have been receiving.  I can hear her in the back of my head asking if I wrote a thank you note yet.  I'm thankful that she taught me to always tell other's how much you appreciate their kindness.  She is so good at that.  

I'm also thankful for her sense of humor.  I love laughing with her.  

I'm also thankful for her outgoingness.  I like how she has never met a stranger.  I'm glad that I have some of Gdo in me and hope I can continuously live life like her.

Day 7

I totally failed yesterday.  I think I ended the day with about 4 meltdowns.  It was not a good day for me at all.
So today I'm thankful for new days.  I thankful that I have a husband who forgives me and still loves me even when I'm an idiot. And I'm very thankful for a God that allows me to have a do-over.
I did go to the zoo (by myself) and had an ok time.  I needed the walk and to be outside.  I probably didn't need to be alone but it worked out.  Here are a few shots...

Day 6

The day has just started and honestly I'm having a hard time finding something to be thankful for already.  I am consumed with a feeling of loneliness yet again for the 1000000000th day in a row.  The bad thing is that it's only going to get worse in the next few months.  Nathan is starting basketball season and today spending the day driving to Springfield to be with his nephew for about 2 hours for his birthday.  I'm not going because riding in a car is very uncomfortable these days and I don't want to spend my Saturday in the car.  I'm glad he is going and I realize that I could go and not be alone instead of complaining right now but I just don't want to.
When it comes to my life here in Missouri I have a very hard time being thankful.  Mainly because I feel lonely here a lot.  I could write a lot about why I feel so alone but this is suppose to be about Thankfulness.
Last night we went to the Community Cafe.  I love going there and talking to the people.  The Cafe is a place here where poor/homeless people can go for a hot meal 5 days a week.  A lot of them are older and just want to talk to you.  Most of the time they don't make sense but it's still good to talk to them and listen to their stories.
One person there is Mrs. Taylor.  She is a retired teacher who is now a substitute teacher.  But she doesn't sub a lot because she is constantly going on mission trips.  She just returned from Mexico and is going to Haiti for the 4th time this year in about a week.  She welcomes people to the Cafe and kinda takes attendance.  Mrs. Taylor lives just down the street from the Cafe in a pretty bad part of town.  I love how she is intentional and incarnational in everything she does.  She lives alone but I don't think she is lonely at all.  She has filled her life with the Mission of God.  I'm thankful for Mrs. Taylor.  I'm thankful that she is here to remind me that life isn't always about having lots of friends or feeling apart of a church or a family.  Those things are all very sad and I wish life was better but I'm thankful for God showing me people like Mrs. Taylor.  I can't go on mission trips right now, but I can ask God to show me things here that need to be done for Him.  My prayer today will not be on taking the loneliness away but to open my eyes to see God working in my life.  I'm thankful for a Savor who is willing to let me be apart of his Kingdom.

Day 5

Today I am thankful that we got to spend time at the community cafe.  I really feel like this can be a place where I can be incarnational.  I enjoy the regulars there and love that they make me feel like family.

Day 4

Today I'm thankful for friends afar.  I would have a hard time if I didn't have all of my far away friends.  I wish that I could see everyone more.  God has blessed me with great friends from afar.

Day 3

Today I am thankful for our future child.  I can't thank God enough for this amazing gift.  I love everyday of this pregnancy and can't wait to meet him/her.

The Mission of God and Politics...

I often joke with Nathan about the things I will do when I am "Queen of the World."  My campaign is filled with silliness, but what I consider very good ideas to help out the world.  For example, everyone will be required to dance around 3pm everyday....it's just good for your soul.  Everyone will also have to do at least one nice thing for other's before the day is done...imagine a world like that.  I know that I'm just being silly but I'm very serious about things we can do to make this world a little bit better.

After the recent elections, I've been thinking a lot about making this world(and our country) better.  This morning I've been thinking about things we talked about at our last lab with Mission Alive.  We spent time discussing Mission of God, Kingdom of God, and Incarnation.

This morning I woke up noticing that not one person I voted for won.  When I told Nathan he asked me how that made me feel.  The only feeling I had was the feeling of hunger. I was ready to eat breakfast.  I really didn't care much about it.  I have this overwhelming thought that God is ultimately the one in control here.  So I wondered how can we help our leaders whether or not we like them.  I also asked Nathan how many of the candidates based their campaigns on the Mission of God...not many.

But what if that actually happened?  Or instead of what ifs...what can we as Christians do now to help the Mission of God shine through these leaders.  Instead of complaining all the time about our elected leaders can we pray for them to make the right choices in all aspects of their lives?  How awesome would it be if we all prayed for our leaders on a regular basis.  And when I say pray, I'm talking about praying for God's Mission to be very apparent in everything they do.

I live in a place where people talk about politics a lot...or maybe it's that I'm older and have to always sit at the "adult table" now and people have always talked about it.  Anyways, I hardly ever hear about the Mission of God when politics is the subject.  1 Timothy 2:1-2 says, ^-"The first thing I want you to do is pray. Pray every way you know how, for everyone you know. Pray especially for rulers and their governments to rule well so we can be quietly about our business of living simply, in humble contemplation. This is the way our Savior God wants us to live."from the Message  I don't like talking about politics at all, because it causes a lot of doubts in people's faith, arguments, and strife.  But I could totally talk about it if we changed our conversations to how we can pray for our leaders.

I'm thankful that I don't have to be Queen of the World.  Although I think I'm going to start praying more for the Mission of God to be in our leaders.  Prayer is a powerful thing, more powerful than you can even imagine.  I'm thankful that we have the Bible to read and see people like Paul who believed in the power of prayer.  I'm even more thankful that we have a God who is more powerful than any leader of any elected position.  I hope we can start praying to speak in love and of God's mission when we talk about politics.  My prayer is that we can have leader's who are filled with the Mission of God and who long for the Kingdom of God and who will be Incarnational in our world.

Day 2

taken at our ugly christmas sweater party 2009

Today I'm thankful for my husband.  I'm very blessed to have such an amazing friend who takes care of me and loves me so much.  I can't wait to see him be a dad and continue our journey together.

30 days of Thankfulness

A sweet person I know did this last year and I just noticed she started again today.  I'm gonna be a copy cat and do 30 days of Thankfulness this month.

Day 1

Today I am thankful for getting to have lunch with Cailyn and getting to see Jenna.  God totally answered a prayer today with these girls.  I've been feeling so lonely lately and was needing some good conversations with some great ladies.  Thank you God for letting me feel like I'm a part of your kingdom today.

17 weeks

We are almost half way there!

I feel like sometimes this is going by so slow and other times I can't believe how far along we are.  I'm filled to the brim with thanks to God these days.  The baby seems to be doing well.  I can feel it sometimes but I'm still waiting for that big kick to the belly.  All of our appointments are going well.  I'm anticipating the next ultrasound.  I know that it's not good to have an ultrasound done for no reason but I'm ready to see this baby again.  

In 17 weeks I have gained 11 pounds. I always am so excited to step on the scale and see it go up.  I think I'm one of few pregnant women who loves getting bigger.

I can't thank everyone enough for all the prayers and excitement that you have shared with me. We can't wait to meet this baby.  

What's Next

Dear Friends and Family:

We cannot thank God nor all of you enough for the many blessings in our lives.  Obviously we are looking forward to the amazing gift of a child.  Along with that life change, we are also discussing a major change of vocation.  As many of you know, we have not exactly been happy in our current situation.  We both have worked in jobs where we encounter children/young adults in horrible conditions and lacking in every kind of love.  It is very difficult to work in this situation when we are not always able to share what would be most powerful for these children/young adults--food, a hug, prayer, spiritual love, and spiritual guidance.  So last year,  we started asking if God would open a way for us to find a new place in His mission.  Almost a week later--no joke--our friends Josh and Jaime Fisher called to tell us about Mission Alive.  

Mission Alive is a missional church planting organization in Dallas, TX.  In late July, we attended Mission Alive’s Discovery Lab.  The Lab is very intense; it is a three day spiritual assessment and discussion of faith. We learned a lot about ourselves and our marriage.  At the end of the Lab, Mission Alive asked Lana and I to be Associate Church Planters.  Preparing for church planting with Mission Alive is similar in many ways to preparing for foreign mission work.  After a lot of prayer and discernment, Lana and I have decided to continue to pursue this opportunity.  In mid-October, we will be attending the Theology Lab and hopefully in June the Strategy Lab.  During the Strategy Lab, we will establish more of the concrete details which we naturally wonder--where, when, how, etc.

We ask now that you would keep us in your prayers.  We also would appreciate a lot of questions so that you might be a part of our discernment process.  We ask that you would specifically pray for Lana and her pregnancy.  Please pray that we are patient--that we listen to God and sound counsel and not pursue our own selfish ideas.  Please pray that even while making future plans we do not fail to use this time to serve others.  And pray that we are open and listening to what God has to show us while at the Theology Lab--October 13-16.

Also, Lana says that asking for funds provides a wonderful way for people to feel apart of our lives and provides a reason to discuss God’s active presence in our lives.  She is correct.  It is also a testament to how God provides through His family.  In July, we needed $950 to make the trip; we received $951.  Through this June, we are asked to raise $1100.  If any of you feel called to participate in our discernment financially, we would greatly appreciate it.

Up until now, we have been trying to discern if church planting is a vocation we should pursue.  We believe it is.  This will hopefully become a greater and greater part of our lives, and we hope that you will continue to be a part of our lives as well.  Below we have listed contact information, information about Mission Alive, and some reading we have been doing about church planting.

Thank you. We love you,
Lana and Nathan Miller


Lana 660 233 2033       lanamcbanana@gmail.com
Nathan 660 909 8501   nfamiller@gmail.com   


Lana and Nathan Miller 
(Address not provided on public blog, please contact author for details)
Sedalia, MO 65301

Mission Alive  missionalive.org

Readings:
The Tangible Kingdom
And: The Gathered and Scattered Church
Organic Church
Transforming Discipleship
Simply Christian
Reasons for God

The Green Light

It has been a year and a half since our last miscarriage.  

It has been 11 months since we first saw Dr. Cowen.

Finally, we got a green light to try and have a baby!  

I've been hesitant to write this because I have no idea how much longer it will be until I get to write what will be one of my favorite post ever....the one were I tell you that we are expecting and every one is healthy.  But I do know that it is closer that it was.  At my last Dr. appointment I loved getting to answer all the questions that he asks every time.  It was great this time because after a summer of traveling and not eating the way I had been I was ready for him to tell me I had to wait longer.  Instead he let me know that I have done a great job at getting healthy and even with my routine all out of whack, I'm ready to have a baby and will have a very healthy home for it.  I finally feel like all this hard work is paying off.  

Thank you for your prayers and support.  I am so thankful for God's hand in this.  In fact I'm not even scared to get pregnant anymore.  However, once I do it will be well into my second trimester before any of you know.  But at least its getting closer!

The Discovery Lab

June 12, 2010

Dear Family and Friends,

We hope this letter finds you well.  We think of you and your families often.  Nathan and I are writing this to share with you what God has been doing lately in our lives, and we would love to hear what He is doing in yours.

For the past few months, we have been spiritually lost and trying to figure out what direction God wants us to take. We finally came to the conclusion that we needed to stop whining about being lost and instead listen to God. 

            Soon after, the youth minister’s position became open in our church.  This got us thinking, and we began to seriously discuss and pray about going into the ministry.  We had a meeting with our pastor to discuss the youth position and the idea of going into the ministry. We all agreed that the position at our current church was not the right fit for us; really, we had no idea what the right fit might be.  Our minister suggested we spend some time trying to discover what type of ministry we were passionate about.  The next day our good friends, Josh and Jaime Fisher told us about the Discovery Lab, where young church leaders go to discover if they are interested in becoming church planters. 

The Discovery Lab is part of a national ministry called Mission Alive.  The purpose of Mission Alive is “to discover, equip, place, and nurture church planting leaders who will plant missional churches in suburbs, city centers, and poverty areas with unbelievers as the primary target.”  Once we found out about this ministry, we both were very excited.  Since then, we have had a phone conversation with the head of Mission Alive, Gailyn, and his wife Becky.  They are amazing people, and we are really excited to get to know them.

The first step in joining this ministry is to attend the four-day “Discovery Lab” to discover if this ministry is right for us.  Before we are able to attend however, we had to fill out a pretty intense application.  We both finished the application about two weeks ago; it was very cleansing in a way. This whole process has happened so fast, and our lab is in Connecticut from July 15-18 of this year!  We have about four weeks to raise money to go to the Discovery Lab.  We need to raise $950 for the Lab, and this covers our costs while attending the Lab as well as helping to cover the costs of the Mission Alive team. 

It is tempting to lean on our own abilities and resources to find a way to pay for the Lab.  However, the Mission Alive team has encouraged us to raise the money.  If we become church planting missionaries, we will have to learn how to raise money; and more importantly, we will have to be dependent upon God and His people for support.  This also gives us an opportunity to share with our family and friends what God is doing in our lives.  We are sorry this letter gives you short notice, and we are sorry that it comes in the form of an email rather than a more traditional letter.  However, this happened quickly, and we are excited God has given us this opportunity.  If you feel led to support us financially, we would obviously greatly appreciate it.  There are many other ways we would appreciate your support as well.  Please pray for us—pray for safe travel and that our hearts and minds are open to what God has to share with us.  Please ask us about Mission Alive and the amazing things God is doing through this ministry.  Even if we do not eventually become a part of this ministry, it is full of amazing, Godly people doing God’s work.  And, please let us serve you.  We have few talents, but we are willing.

If you have questions, please feel free to contact us.  You can follow us on Lana’s blog at www.lanamcbanana.blogspot.com as we discover this ministry and learn what God has ready for us. We will send an update when we have finished the Discovery Lab and let you know what our next steps will be.  You can also check out the Mission Alive website at www.missionalive.org. 

Much Love,

Lana and Nathan

Lana: (660) 233-2033 and lanamcbanana@gmail.com

Nathan: (660) 909-8501 and nfamiller@gmail.com

Mowing Adventures

Our yard hasn't been mowed in a while so I volunteered to do it.  I have never done a zero turn mower so it took some getting used to.  But after I knocked over the air conditioner and ran into the barn and almost got stuck in the ditch, I really enjoyed it.  Here are some highlights.

       

I had an outfit picked out for the event.  You can tell in the back ground that our grass was at least a foot tall.

The after shot.  See the swirls?  I learned how to do donuts.

I got much better and learned how to get around the tough spots.

This cat was very thankful for the short grass.

This orange lily(and spider) survived.  Others like it may not have.

        

This was the only life lost in the making of this blog.

I miss Tif!

I haven't taken many pictures this past year.  But recently I got the "itch" to start taking more again.  I wish more than ever Tiffany Williams was around to show me what to do.  But these are some pretty good ones.  

I heart Pepper

When I was a little girl I would go visit my Grando and Papa.  For some reason one thing about my Papa that I always remember is that he loved pepper.  As a child I thought it was gross to see his eggs covered in pepper.  As soon as we would sit down to eat he would reach for the pepper an soon everything on his plate would be covered in pepper.
Recently I discovered that when I look down at my plate it looks very familiar.  I love pepper.  I've never really liked salt, but it's sidekick I sure do love.  I'm very proud of loving pepper.  My Papa was an amazing man and I feel like I have a little of him in me when I sit down to eat and reach for the pepper.

Memory Monday

This was the fire at Mount Sentinal.  My friend Tiffany came over and we practiced our photography skills.  

Prayers and Praises

I keep meaning to write this and then find other things that I think need to be done.  I can be really bad about not sharing good news and instead update you on the bad in my life.  But this blog will have some of both, the good and the still sad.

I know so many people have been praying for me and the last couple of weeks I've been able to feel it.  I still don't like this place at all.  But it has been more bearable lately.  I feel great.  I'm not sure I've ever felt this healthy and it is amazing.  At the beginning of this new health thing I wished more than ever that I still lived in Missoula.  It would have been so much easier to eat and I would have had so much more support.  I get a lot of things like...You make me sick(eating so healthy) and I could never take(fill in the blank)out of my diet and for some reason lots of people roll their eyes at you when you eat healthy.  I was mad at God for making live here at try to do something that seemed impossible and lonely.  But as always He knew what he was doing.  Recently people have asked me for my Naturalpath's number.  People have even showed interest in having a more healthy lifestyle.  I've shared my story of this crazy journey more times in the last week and each time I do, it feels amazing.

Of course, Nathan has been very supportive and even feels better too.  I have friends here who are interested and have even cooked some gluten free things for me.  I am very grateful for this change.

I keep thinking of the song, Blessed be the Name of the Lord.  I really like the verse that says....You GIVE and TAKE away.  I feel like that has been my last year and a half.  I have felt so far away from God and have even had feelings of giving up on Him.  But I recently found out that I'm not in the black hole I thought I was.  I'm just in the Wilderness trying hard to find my way out.  Someone recently told me that even if you're complaining to God, it's a form of worship.  It's not the form I want to do forever, but it made me feel like I'm not totally lost.  I know God is here with me.  I don't think I would know that if I didn't have so many of you praying for me.  Thank you again.

I started my month long hormone test on Saturday.  Please pray that everything goes the way it should.  Each month I'm more ready than ever to be a mom.  Also continue to pray for me to get out of this Wilderness.  I'm still sad and struggling to live here.  Some things are getting better and I'm thankful for that.

Thanks again for all your encouragement and prayers.  Things are getting better.

A memorable Easter

This is from one of my favorite Easters ever.  We were at a sunrise service at Blue Mt.  It was so amazing to see the sun come up over the mountains and worship God who created all.  

Memory Monday

I'm going to try to blog more so I'm starting a new thing called Memory Monday.  This way I can have a smile or laugh about things that have happened in the past.  I also try to always include a picture...Enjoy!

This is a Thank You picture to Angie and Jeremy...they made us the quilt for our wedding.

I'm glad I have a husband who is willing to do 'shenanigans' with me. And by the way this is the best nap quilt ever.  I'm almost certain that it has magic nap powers.

My Valentine

In the words of Sally Brown(Charlie Brown's sister)..."Isn't he the cutest thing you ever did see"

Guest Blogger

Well Lana is again making a wonderful dinner, and on this snow-day, Lana asked me to write a blog post.

Let me first say I love my wife. She is beautiful, funny, and takes better care of me than I ever imagined possible. Just today she has made me breakfast, cookies, and is currently making a soup that boggles the mind and taste-buds. And those are just surface, silly things; she is emotionally the reason I am.

I have felt horrible recently because Lana has not been happy while here in Missouri. A lot of things have not gone the way we envisioned them, and though we know God is very near, we have not had the eternal eyes to acknowledge His work. And yet, Lana, though depressed, is still amazing and full of life when we are alone together (the rest of you are missing out and that is seriously your loss). Our relationship has grown greatly as we depend more on each other to survive a life we aren't always happy with. We have faith that God is waiting for us to get out of our funk and listen to Him. Lana questions her faith right now, but I assure her she is not lost. I know no one who mourns the hurt and loss of others more than she. "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and mourn with those who mourn." And though we may not be rejoicing much on our own currently, we have--we will--and Lana continues to love and care for me and show an empathy for the world I never imagine possible.

So please continue to pray for us, for Lana's health, for wisdom in what we should do. And if at all possible, laugh with us--we need to laugh... Also, try not to ask Lana too much about her job or her health (I mean show you care, but spend more time discussing other things). She is getting healthier though not where she wants to be yet; and her job stinks (don't talk about the job). Ask her about God and the future, and tell her everything about yourself. Thank you all, you have given us so much. And thank you to all who read this, because I know you all contributed in some way in making my wife who she is--and I like her quite a bit.

On a lighter and scarier note, we saw a bald eagle (no joke) carrying a dead cat down our road the other day. Our cats may not survive.

Guest Blogger,

The Husband

20 Reasons why we love Dad...Part 2

Today is my dad's 60th Birthday. Since all his kids are spread out everywhere and couldn't be with him, we thought we'd send him good internet wishes. And since there are 3 of us we are doing 20 each because 20 times 3 equals 60(thanks dad for the math brains).

The following are 20 reasons why I love my dad.

21. the way he loves my mom

22. how hard he has worked to get to where he is today

23. how he strive to be healthy in what he eats

24. how adventurous he is

25. how fearless he is in all he does

26. his sincerity for everyone he meets

27. how he is very interested in other people's names(I often don't care and I think you should)

28. how he is still very active and its important to him

29. he never gives up

30. how much he loves his job

31. how he taught all of us that church is important even when we didn't want to go

32. he would do anything for us

33. he loves all his kids and is our biggest fan

34. how passionate he is about golf

35. he would do anything to help anyone out

36. he used to help me with math homework...trust me this had to make the list cause thats not an easy task, but he still did it.

37. he took us to see many things that most people didn't get the opportunity to see

38. he is passionate about mission trips

39. his love for me and my husband

40. his ability to always be calm

Happy Birthday Dad. I hope you have a great day. Thanks for all that you do for us. Love ya! Lana

www.myramoran.blogspot.com

www.alexlaird.blogspot.com

Christmas in Oklahoma

Nathan and I went to see my family in Oklahoma after Christmas. We had a great time and as my sister put it, as always we felt right at home at my Aunt Kathy and Uncle Terry's house. It was a fun holiday with both families this year!

Mo and Aunt Kathy

funny faces with Mo

Sisters with hats

Grando had lots of presents