I'll share some MO with you Aunt Kathy...

Christmas in MO part 2

Christmas in MO part 1

Merry Christmas!

Nathan and I have been talking about how it doesn't really seem like Christmas here. Not many people decorate up here. And no one really talks about Christmas time. Today in our high school bible class we were going to have the kids tell us the Christmas story. But that didn't help much either, it was interesting. But then it started to snow, a lot. Nathan asked me if the snow helped and I started to say yes, but actually the majority of my life has been without snow around Christmas time. Some people in our small group told us about a great house that goes all out. So we drove by and it was amazing. But I'm still not quite there yet. Nathan suggested that tomorrow at school I tell people Merry Christmas! So I'm practicing on you. Merry Christmas.

Our first Christmas tree

Nathan Surprised me Sunday night with our first Christmas tree. My new boots are way fun. Up close of Papa's Santa. Nathan decorates with candy canes yum!

I did it!

My niece Mo likes to say I did it! This is what I was thinking yesterday when I got a paper back in my technical writing class. Finally I received an A on a paper. My teacher in this class likes to tell the class that I am a great writer just not a technical writer. So finally I feel like I did one thing right in her class. Too bad its the end of the semester, but not to worry I have 2 more papers to turn in.

Our cute niece Mo and my new coat

Snow continued...Morgandy and ThanksmasChristmas

So we had a lot of fun in the snow: snow angels, mini-snowmen, snow balls, porch couches, snow bears, and hyper Lana.  Our niece Morgandy is super cute like whoa.  And we all got new Christmas stockings.  Much love, and here is to ThanksChristgivingmas.

Meatloaf and snow

Nathan cooked a great meatloaf and we had just enough for a meatloaf ball.
The leaves on our tree fell off and it was like day light in our bedroom at night with the street light shining through, so I bought new curtains.
Lana packed clothes eventually for Flordia!
Snowing at our place around 7 p.m.

It's dark outside

So it's 5:30 and its dark outside.
We don't have much going on here in Missoula but our families do so I'll share their stories with you...
My niece is ONE.
My sister is 30. It sounds older if you type it out, so I just put the number.
My new nephew is 9.
My mom-in-law had a birthday.
My new sister-in-law is turning 31 on the ninth along with my Uncle Jim Bob.
My brother just got a lead roll in West Side Story. He will be Riff. So anyone who is closer than we are should go see him!

Aunt Cool and Uncle Nate Dogg from afar

This Friday my first niece(only my first because she came before Nathan and I admitted we were in love) will be 1 years old. Morgandy Skye Moran is so stinkin' cute. Since we live in Montana, we can't go to her party. But we did send a toy that I hope to get for myself one day. It a barn with farm animals that have fun facts, tell colors, and a frog that plays 5 different banjo songs. It was so fun to play with and it took everything in me to 1. send it and 2. not open it up and play with it. I was just on Myra's blog and got to see some of the cutest pictures of Mo. Thanks for sharing Myra. I will share with you too... www.myramoran.blogspot.com
Enjoy!

We are not so much desperate as... we miss you.

So fall in Missoula is beautiful, and we are having a wonderful time in God's creation. Hope you all are well, and hope this inspires some.

Adam's comforting words

Lately I have been struggling with bad dreams of Adam. I close my eyes and replay the last night I was in Uganda. Its so hard because that is not how I want to remember him. I don't want to be scared of my cousin.
Last night I had a dream about him...kinda. For some reason both Nathan and my family were together at a sports store. It was kinda like a reception for us. I was with Nathan's mom and Morgandy. Morgandy was talking to Peggie, asking her if she could borrow some crayons. Ben came up with a Mvule tree. He sat it down and gave me a hug. Then he said that Kym and the boys were here with someone else. I went to find Kym and when I did I saw Adam. I kept my distance because I didn't know if he was real or if this was going to end up bad again. I hugged Kym and went over to Nathan. Then Uncle Terry came up and said,"can you see Adam?" I said yes but stayed next to Nathan, still unsure. Adam walked up to me and said,"Congratulations, I like him." Then he hugged me and said,"you don't have to be scared anymore." And then he left.
I feel like I can have some peace now. When I woke up from my dream I told Nathan that I had talked to Adam. This may be weird but I feel like it was real. I prayed for a peaceful rest for everyone last night. I hope this helps!

A fun chain

A few weeks ago Nathan decided to make a countdown chain for his sister and her son, who had a hard time adjusting to school too. So last week we decided to start on them since October was coming up. I started making one chain and had lots of fun doing it. I decided that is other sister, Leslie and her family needed one too. Just the thought of counting down the days until I didn't have to come to school made me so excited. So I had Nathan make me one too. Its hanging in our kitchen and I've gotten to take off 4 rings so far. Its so much fun. I think there should be a countdown chain for everything. By the way I'm doing much better with my attitude towards school. I won't tell you that I like it because I am way to stubborn to admit it, but its not as hard to go in the mornings like it use to be.

Our Log Bed

This is a picture of our log bed. Its really nice and big.

Missoula Reception

Last night we were totally blessed to have a reception here in Missoula. Lots of great people came to see pictures and the video of the wedding. We also got lots of gifts, gift cards and hugs. It was so fun to watch the wedding and see everything that the bride doesn't get to see. Next time I get to be the groom and Nathan gets to be the bride. He was so cute and looked very nervous. I am extremely annoying and talk the whole time.(sorry grando!)
We are so thankful for everybody here and all their help with the reception. I'm glad that we were able to share the best day of my life with everyone here. Thanks so much Missoula family.

PS still to come... pictures of our log bed.

Were half way there...

Today Nathan and I have been married for one month. Its been the best month of my life. When I woke up this morning I told Nathan how happy I was to be married to him for a whole month and he said, "yeah were half way there." I'm not sure what that means. Then he surprised me with a Snapple Peach tea and flowers he had stolen from someones yard. My husband is so romantic! I am the luckiest girl ever!

Glacier and wedding pictures...

This weekend Nathan and I have been married for a month! Its gone by so fast but been so much fun.
Saturday morning we got up around 8:30 and got ready to go to Glacier national park. We had to first stop by Wal-mart cause that is the only place around here that sells Peter Pan Peanut Butter. So we grab two jars(Nathan really likes this brand and goes through about 1 a week). Anyways we headed to Glacier which is about 2 hours from here. We got there and drove over going to the sun road and did a really cool hike. I was really hoping to see a bear but didn't. We did see lots of goats and a coyote. It was so great to spend the day with each other and be in God's beauty.
When we got back to our home at 1 in the morning, there was a surprise. Jess and Jen had arranged for our wedding present to be a log bed. And a kid from the youth group at our church, Scott who is only 16 built it! Its really nice and big. I'll try to get a picture up sometime.
Also, just to let you know, our photographer is sending us our pictures from the wedding. So we will be getting them this week some time. I'm still not sure when they will be on the website but I'll let you know!

Starting School

I started school yesterday. I'm not excited about it right now but working on getting there with help from my loving husband. Its not the work or the going to class that I have a problem with. There are so many times that I have had to take a brake that I'm just tired of it. I can't help but think that I should have been finished so long ago. But here I am still in school trying to make my way through with a good attitude.
Nathan has been amazing. Constantly encouraging me and giving me tough love, I know that I can do this with him. He loves school and thats a big help. Nathan has helped me realize that going to school is a blessing and like everything else in life I need to use this as an opprotunity to show others(or be shown) Christ.
I am constantly amazed by my husband everyday. It just keeps getting better. We had many people tell us the first year of marriage is hard. I'm sure, just like everyone's life, there will be hard times. But I think the hardest part so far is waking up in the middle of the night and trying to figure out if I'm dreaming or not. I am so thankful for Nathan Miller and can't wait to wake up again and realize that I'm not dreaming.

August 11, 2007

This is my first blog to you as Lana Miller! I just got married on August 11th. I love it. The last and first person I see everyday is my husband, Nathan.
Our wedding day was so fun. I got to spend the most part with my best friends and family. We had some great times and as always lots of laughs. I wasn't nervous the whole day, just excited to see Nathan. The girls looked great and my 24 year old flower girl made me laugh everytime I looked at her. I'll try to post pictures soon. The best part of the day was seeing the love of my life at the end of the aisle. I couldn't wait to talk to him. And we did talk through the whole ceremony!
The reception was so fun. Lots of guests dance and had a great time.
I have fallen more in love with Nathan that I ever thought possible. Everyday is so much fun and I can't wait to get to the next day.
I look forward to sharing our new life with you.
Thanks again to everyone who was a part of our special day!
Love
Lana Miller

Tagged by Myra...

First memory- Combing my papa's hair...he didn't have any but I loved to do it anyways. And this was not that early on but I couldn't think of anything.

First real kiss- Nathan Miller, no joke. Well there were others but they weren't real. Ok so the first kiss was a guy that I worked with at Dominoe's Pizza, I don't remember his name.

First love- Nathan Miller. I have never loved anyone else.

First Concert- Besides the ones at church, New Kids on the Block

First thing you think in the Morning- "I can't wait to see Nathan!" and "I'm getting married"

First pet- probably some kind of hamster that Myra and I let out and is somewhere in the basement at 9211 Apple Orchard Place.

First book you remember loving- Sand Cake its about a bear who goes to the beach and makes a cake out of sand and well, I'm not going to spoil it its at my mom's house if you want to read it.

First question you'll ask in heaven- Well I'd love to know when story time is cause I bet there are some great ones. But I want to ask God to tell me about the creating the animals, I think He was laughing a lot.

First thing you think of when you hear the word vacation- I'm getting Married

First best friend- I think it was Kyle Rhodes, but I have a lot of best friends.

Last time you dressed up- for our church Christmas party last year I wore a designer gown from Good Will.

Last thing you ate- I just at some peach yogurt.

Last CD you bought- I bought a Celtic CD for my friend Jess Marie.

Last good book you read- River Teeth by David James Duncan. Adam introduced me to Duncan He's great.

Last time you told someone you loved them- Last night to Nathan when I was leaving our new apartment, Our New Home!

Last funny thing you did- I'm not really funny, but I would have to say cooked.

Last thing you watched on TV- the All Star game

I tag Mom, Jen and Kim Hensal. This will be fun cause two of you don't have a blog(get one)

Lovin' like Jesus

One of my favorite things that Nathan and I do is saying I love you.
We have this thing where we say we love each other in a way that Jesus loves us too.
For example, we may say I Matthew 5:16 love you. Look it up. Thats part of the fun to see the love that Jesus had in Nathan too. Its really been great for my spiritual life as well.
I am so excited to marry that kid. He has helped me grow so much. I look forward to sharing the rest of my life loving like Jesus did.

L is for the way he looks at me...

Loving my family and friends is something that has always come natural to me. In fact its super easy to love those close to me. My mom always use to say, "you don't have to like your brother/sister but you do have to love them." I always thought well thats not hard at all.
Even loving others who I cross paths with just for a minute is something that just happens for me. Whats not to love about others(a frequent thought from someone special). Jesus sure made it look better and easier than I ever could but has great examples on loving people.
So where am I going with all this love talk? Well I have found a new type of love recently. I have fallen in love and felt loved by my future husband. I have never really known what this kind of love is like. I thought it would be scarey and confusing. But its totally not. I never knew if I would know if I was truly in love and was scared that I might miss it.
Feeling loved by Nathan is so amazing to me. Its not just when he tells me he loves me either. Its the way he looks at me, talks to me, smiles at me, treats me, and so much more. I don't like it when we don't see each other and I don't like leaving him. I'm sure that some of you know what I mean. Its so crazy.
So this is just a heads up for everyone. Clear your schedules cause on August 11th I am going to marry Nathan Miller. Thats right I will be spending the rest of my life with him! I can't wait and hope everyone can make it.
One of my favorite ways Nathan loves me is by the way he looks at me. So if you want to see the look you should come.

Common Union

I am in Portland Oregon today. This weekend has been a great time with my family. We have sat around laughing and crying while remembering my cousin Adam who just a short time ago died. Its still so surreal. I'm not even sure if I totally believe that I won't see him again here on earth. His presence is greatly missed here.
Today at church we had a time of blessing and remembering Adam. My cousin Ben had some great thoughts during communion that I'll share.
While we were on our way to find Adam's body, we stopped in a town about an hour from Jinja. This is were we learned that Moses was dead and his body was on the way back to Jinja. Irene, Moses wife was in the car with us along with her nephew and another women. When Irene found out that her husband was dead she weeped. This was something that I had never experienced. Ben, Kym, Spencer and I sat in the car and cried with her. We held her hand and cried. And we had communion together. We had a "common union."
When we arrived at the hospital where Adam's body was, we were taken back to see him. He was in the morgue which was behind the hospital. When we finally got to Adam he was laying on a table. We cried over him, together. Again, we had communion with him. A "common union."
The next day Kym and I stayed in Mbale to get started on plans for going home. Ben and Spence went to get Adam's body. Ben said that while they were waiting to bring Adam back a Kenyan man approached Ben. He said that he had heard about the accident and was so sorry. As tears rolled down this man's face Ben looked around to see that many were around him. Ben started to talk to these other people who before seemed to be there just because it was the big news of this small village. Ben quickly realized that most of these people had lost a brother, uncle, cousin, or loved one. They shared in a common union. There in the place where Adam died they had communion together.
We came back to the states and the week before the funeral the Langford's house was full of people. The house was full of laughter and tears. People communing together.
Then this weekend, here in Portland again we find ourselves with a common union. We are all here, friends and family, to remember the life of someone who meant so much. Adam showed me that serving is something that you just do. You don't need to make plans or talk about it, you just do it every chance you get.
Today as a family, that is what we did. We served the congregation during communion. I have never done this. It was so great as a family to serve those at East County Church of Christ. We are all grieving over Adam. We are sad and feel a great loss.
Communion was different today. Today, I shared with others in a common union, the void that is in our life. I served others who were hit hard by Adam's death. I am so thankful for this time that I have had here this weekend. I am thankful for communion.

1. My name is Lana Carol McCrary
2. Lana means "light in the darkness"
3. My mom likes me the best because her middle name is Carol too.
4. My mom's first name is Debby
5. My dad's name is Marcus.
6. I'm the middle child.
7. My sister's name is Myra
8. My brother's name is Alex
9. I have a brother-in-law named Patrick
10. I have a niece named Morgandy
11. I have been to Mexico.
12. I have been to Brazil.
13. I have been to Uganda.
14. I have blond hair.
15. I have blue eyes.
16. I am 5'8" tall(no matter what Kelly says)
17. I was born in Arlington, Tx.
18. I have lived in Crestwood, Ky.
19. I lived in Humble, Tx.
20. I've lived in Oklahoma City, OK.
21. I live in Missoula, Montana.
22. I enjoy Montana, but I miss the South.
23. I went to Oklahoma Christian University.
24. I also went to Kingwood Community College.
25. I also went to University of Central Oklahoma.
26. I also went to University of Montana.
27. The last 4 sentences make me laugh and cry.
28. My major is in Applied Heath Science.
29. I wish that someone would just hand me my degree.
30. I played soccer.
31. I am a black belt in Taekwondo.
32. I wish I was back in Taekwondo.
33. I was in Student Senate at OC.
34. I was also in Gamma Rho, a social service club at OC.
35. I miss being in club, I loved it.
36. I have never had just one best friend.
37. I have never enjoyed being in cliques.
38. I have many friends from many walks of life.
39. I'm a push over.
40. I love to travel.
41. I want to go to India.
42. I love anatomy.
43. I love reading.
44. I rarely don't make my bed.
45. I wish I would cook more.
46. I live with a great family.
47. Families are very important to me.
48. My first job was at Dominoe's Pizza.
49. My job now is at a Chiopractor's office as a receptionist.
50. My favorite job was as a Barista.
51. I need to eat better.
52. I miss having desert with my friends Kim, Lily, and Tamika.
53. I love Sunday nights with the Girls.
54. I love the outdoors.
55. I have a scar on my hand from falling on a furnace.
56. I've had surgery on my foot.
57. I use to wear braces.
58. My front two teeth are mostly fake.
59. I wish my family lived closer to me.
60. I have two very cute red heads in my life.
61. I love to clean.
62. I like people.
63. I like to be by myself too.
64. I love singing in church.
65. I can't sing well at all.
66. I have been on a Cruise.
67. I wish I was a better listener.
68. I love to laugh.
69. I love to be the center of attention.
70. I really do like to pray.
71. I love back rubs.
72. I like to have my hair played with.
73. I secretly love wearing skirts.
74. I miss the big city.
75. I love the mountains.
76. My favorite book in the Bible is 1John.
77. My favorite person in the Bible is Paul.
78. Mint Chocolate Chip icecream makes me smile.
79. I love peanut butter.
80. I miss good Mexican food.
81. I don't watch t.v.
82. I like going to the movies with Nathan.
83. I like Christian music.
84. I miss Grandma.
85. I miss my Papa.
86. I miss Adam.
87. One of my favorite people is Grando.
88. I love the West Wing.
89. I love to have spiritual conversations.
90. I'm excited to go to heaven and have talks with Jesus.
91. I'm glad that I went to the same college as my sis and my cousins.
92. I'm glad I lived with my Aunt and Uncle.
93. I have a hard time being still.
94. I've struggled with depression.
95. I truely believe I will never go down that road again.
96. I have been blessed in so many ways.
97. I'm doing this list for my sister.
98. I've always looked up to my sister.
99. My brother is the funniest person I know.
100. Whew, I'm happy to be done!

The past 2 months and 9 days have been rough. I've struggled to find happiness in many things. Although this is unlike me, it has made things in my life very real. For the first time in my 26 years of life I am realizing that these feelings are ok to have. I don't always have to be the life of the party(even though I truly enjoy it). I've learned to be sad even when others around me get uncomfortable.
Spiritually speaking I feel like I have been stretched, sometimes beyond what I think I can handle. And I'm not quite sure what God wants me to learn sometimes.
Spencer and Emily Bogle are missionaries in Jinja and life long friends. I recently read a post that Spencer put on the Jinja blog and it helped me figure out some things.
Spence talked about missing Adam being around and not just for his famous stories, but for the times just sitting at the table with him. Although Adam and I have been apart for many years, I know that when it comes time to visit my family I will feel that void too. I'll miss playing cards with him. I'll really miss playing games outside. Going to the Langfords was always fun. We almost always ended up playing a game that was usually just made up, all you needed was a ball of any kind and a great imagination.
Spence also used a quote from Christ plays in Ten Thousand Places, by Eugene Peterson. It reads, "The story in which God does His saving work arises among a people whose primary experience of God is his absence"
I know that God is here in the midst of all the heartache. Suffering has been a big part of my life recently, but God is still in my face keeping me going even when its a lot harder.
I guess I'll have to keep my chin up for now, and keep on trusting that God is here working in me.

Stuck in a Rut

In about a month I am turning 27. This seems like the longest year of my life. I have had more troubles this year then I think anyone should be aloud in one decade. But thats ok. Cause I have pushed through most things and I've also grown more this year then I have in about a decade.
But I'm stuck right now. I think I'm writing this here because this seems like something to process. I recently told my mom that I feel like I have been handed a package deal of crap. Normally, I can get out of a negative mood. I can always turn something bad into something postive. Even encouraging when it can be a challenge has never been a struggle for me. However, right now I'm in a rut that I can't seem to get out of. It seems that nothing and nobody can make this change lately.
I guess that is where I'm not getting any relief from crap city. I'm relying to much on situations and people. Geez! Thats totally not going to get me out at all! I need to rely on God more than anything or anyone else. This seems so easy to say but so hard to do. I'm not sure exactly why because He has never let me down or never left me even when I've left Him.
Well that felt better. I know I'm so smart I should be a brain surgeon.

Da DaDa Da...

I have a new cousin! Noah Adam was born last Wednsday in OKC. He was 9lbs and 3oz. Mom and baby are doing well. He's much need joy at this time in our lives.
Me and my dear friends, Jen and Jess will be traveling to Portland, OR in a few weeks to see this new addition. I am so ready for this time. Not only does it mean a road trip, but I will also get to see my family! It been really hard being so far away from them. This will be so great to share stories of Adam. They day we come back, The Ben Langfords along with my Aunt and Uncle will be going back to Jinja, Uganda. Please pray for this, I know that it will be really emotional. Going back to the last place Adam was will be hard.

Something to make you smile!

My friend Katie teaches the second grade class at Missoula Valley Church. They have been talking about encouragement(one of my favorite subjects!)

Last night I got a few cards from some of the girls. Here is what some of them said...

"Lana, I'm sorry your cousin dide"
"Lana, I'm sad your cousin died, my grampa died."
and my favorite...
"Lana, I'm sorry your cousin died, my bunny died."

One of the boys wrote to our Preacher, Donny. His card read...
"Donny, thanks for being our Priest."
Isn't that great!
I'm thankful for the encouraging kids in Missoula!

My life song

My life song recently has been, I will Praise You in this Storm, by Casting Crowns. I love the words to this song. Giving God the praise and glory even when things are a mess.

I was talking to a friend the other day about my storm. If you heard about everything that was going on you would think that I was a high maintance drama queen. I'm just hoping that God's plan is to make me really strong. Cause if that is His plan, then watch out Satan.

I say that song is my life song because of hard times. And I pray that it is what others see. I pray that I can give God praise in the midst of this storm.

I feel like my life has been in super fast motion since I have been back from Uganda. Almost two weeks ago I was in Jinja waiting for Adam to get back from buying coffee so that I could tell him about the awesome day I had just had. But Adam didn't come back.
It was about 7:30 or 8:00pm and Ben, Kym, Eli, the Bogles, and I were visiting at the Langfords house when we got the call. Adam and Moses, a Ugandan friend had been in an accident. But that is about all we knew. I had no idea that the next few hours I would spend driving to Kapchurua to find Adam and Moses, only to find that both had died. It felt like a bad dream, or like something you would see in the movies, but it definiately did not feel like reality. I couldn't believe that either of them were dead, I had just spent the last 3 weeks with Adam and had gotten to know Moses.
Coming back to the states was fast and unexpected. I couldn't wait to see friends and family but was sad to have to come back so soon. I arrived in Missoula to a great group of friends and spent the next day getting ready to go to OKC for the funeral. It seemed like from the moment I set foot in the US I felt the love of so many of you. I had calls from many friends, old and new. I had e-mails from many caring people from the states and from Uganda. Adam touched so many lives and it was easy to see.
Adam and I had many great talks while I was staying with him in Jinja. I was so proud of him. I got to see a side of him that was different then usual. Adam is a very funny person, and any time I knew that he was around I also knew that it would be fun. But in Jinja I saw an extremely caring side of Adam. Adam didn't have too but he was always watching out for me. He knew that I could take care of myself over there but still was always looking out for me. I have great memories of Adam in Uganda. One of my favorite is being stuck in a hotel in Kenya(because of car problems). The Bogles, Adam and I were reading out of the 'hotel Bible'. In the front it had John 3:16 in 15 different languages. We all read a different language and laughed so hard that night. That was my cousin, always laughing in the midst of a hard situation.
The funeral was held on this past Wednesday. I had never been to anything like it. There were so many people there who knew Adam in some way. It was great to be with my family and with the Jinja team.
I am in Flordia now and will go back to Missoula at the end of this week. Thank you for the prayers and support you have shown me and my family in the last couple of weeks.

Right now Mo is a girly,
girl and thats totally
ok with me! 

Eli sings Twinkle, Twinkle
to little Mo 

Lana, Eli, cow, and pig. 

Eli with a Edible Fruit
Bouquet from a friend of
the family 

Just some of the family
that came for the funeral.
some had already left. 

Leta, Lana, and Eli.
We are the cutest ones
in the family